Category Archives: my thoughts/poems

The last thing you want to hear is that someone you love is sick or these is nothing you can do to help!     I know I’ve been there too many times.   How can you be there without overwhelming them?  Its as if you can’t do enough to let them know that you are going to be there with them through their hard journey.  But you can, just by letting them know that you are always there for them, it doesn’t matter how long that they need you.  Even if it’s just a texts each day you know they are going through a hard time.  When you know your loved one has  someone who will be there no matter what, can make all the difference.   

How we survive- Or don’t

Cracked Mirror in Shalott

[Trigger warnings mainly for suicidality, but also for abuse, neglect, medical abuse, police brutality, ableist violence and plain old ableism]

Here’s the reason I’m still here: Because at the times of my life, my childhood, my teens, my adulthood, where I’ve wanted to die I’ve had people I knew would be upset I was gone.

I’m doing really well with my mental health over all lately- I have had a few bumpy days here or there, but I’m overall a happy person now. Even when I’m having the bumpy days, I’ve become someone with a happiness underneath inside me to keep me moving and using positive coping strategies. Even on days when I have panic attacks. Even on days where I’m having flashbacks, though it’s buried pretty deeply on those days. Even on days where I feel a general hopeless miasma. It feels surreal, if I’m entirely honest.

It feels…

View original post 1,022 more words

The smallest things can make a big difference having people who always make time to message you each day just to let you know that you are on their mind.  It does not take very long to send a short message.  You will never know how having someone who is always there can mean to someone who might be going through a hard time.   we all have busy lifes,  but knowing that you have someone who wants to be in your life can mean so much.

Do you always put others first?   Do you ever get that feeling that, if you focus on the needs of others somehow you will get noticed?  Maybe you’re at a place in your life that you think you’ve had your time its time to give back.  Giving to those in need is so amazing,  to me it’s as if I give myself a gift each time I felt like I have helped someone!   But I know that there are people who want to let their needs go in the way of being a light of others as if they are not important.    This post is for YOU!   I think about you knowing that may be you are hurting or you don’t want to worry anyone thinking that you are not important guess what you are wrong!   YOU ARE!  You are loved,  the people who are closet to you will support you,  once you see a important you are!

How would you let someone know that you can see that they are going through darkness? How do you support them without them realizing you see they are hurting?

hi everybody, I just wanted to write this again if you need to talk I’m here; I am still working on, having a coaching program and hopefully one day I will be able to open my own life coaching business/support network to do what I love more than anything is helping others! Please share this group and the page.  Thank you so much for your support.

How do you show someone how much they they mean to you?   It’s not possible no matter how much you try to;  it never seems to be enough or maybe you are like me.   You don’t know the right words to let someone know how much having them always.  Than you think about it when someone says they love you;  everything else doesn’t seem to matter as much, but still it doesn’t feel enough but it only way to tell them!

Don’t stop trying to get what you want in life ! ‪#‎NationalCererbalPalsyAwarenessDay‬

International Day of Happiness

Today is national happiness day.  Happiness is not having in life but being thankful for the little things;  is not having all the money that you think will give you true happiness.   It is knowing that you have everything you need if you believe that love is the key to truly being happy!  We sometimes don’t realize how much love can do,  think about it, when you are having a hard time when someone tells you that they love you;  what does that do for you ?  Letting someone know how much they mean to you, can be enough to change their day, knowing that you are not alone can help someone so much! 


There has been something on my heart for a while now and I think it is a fitting subject to start writing on here;  I have said that I want to help people in all hard times.   But I guess what I am going to write on is not really something thought of as a hard time,  maybe to the person who is a smoker its not a big deal;  but to family and friends who love you.  maybe you smoke,   because it’s a way for you to get through the times when you felt alone or maybe you are around people who smoke.  Yes things can happen in life, we could get sick without smoking, or you have smoked all your life and you are healthy.  I have loved ones who smoke and it doesn’t mean I love them any less, I just because I don’t think smoking is good for you,  I just want my loved ones to be happy and live a healthy life.   

Today and tomorrow just love! Show your loved ones how much you care!

Surround yourself with people who make you happy. People who make you laugh, who help you when you’re in need. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through.”
— Karl Marx

We all have hard times, the first of this year I was not very happy, sometimes I can get into a place where even though I have so much support and love I still get depressed, in that mind set it’s so easy to think that I am not good enough or I can’t do anything with my life, but really that is not true! I just needed to step out of that way of thinking and I soon saw what I am already doing. I am raining an organization called Ms. Wheelchair Colorado it is such a great organization to be a part of. I also write to support others who are going through a hard time, and I work with special needs high school students.  Everything that I do how could I feel depressed you may ask; having a disability where you always need to have with of your physical needs,can get hard sometimes. When you get to age where you should have a job and be able to take care of yourself, but when it comes down to it for me,  I can’t do it without help. Most of the time I am very happy and I don’t let what I can’t do get to me;  but the last few weeks I have been down and kind of wishing I had a normal job and that I could live without needing help for everything;  but I do.  I know there are so many things I can do.   I need to focus on what I can do,  but when you are depressed it can be hard to see the things you can do.   May be you are like me,  you need someone to be there to talk to when you’re feeling down.   Having a great friendship can just give you what you need to get back to yourself again.  

Happy International Day of Acceptance. we all have differences not if we can see them or not. Accepting everyone is necessary. I love that there is a day of acceptance!

What or who says if you are beautiful or not?   Why do we care if we are different,  don’t people understand that being different is what the world so amazing to live in?   Because we are all different, but yet we have something a like.  I have a disability you can easily see without having to ask,  but there are many disabilities people may have that you can’t see right a way.  Its easy to judge just because sometimes they are acting different from you, but when you get to know them you realize that you are not that different from each other.

Just in case I don’t have time tomorrow to write; I’m going to say happy new years now. I am so excited about partying with friends my age on new years eve I’m so excited! This year was amazing, hard and full of giving/gifts and love! I don’t know how else to sum up this year. I took an amazing class that helped me to realize I can be more than I thought; leading to me wanting to start my own online service. I got to talk to one of my best friends just everyday which is amazing to know that we can do that! <2 I got to see my aunt which was so special! For this coming I’m going to work on becoming more independent and my business may be became a life coach! HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!

My Christmas wish.

Christmas time; we all get asked this question what do you want for Christmas?   Normally I can come up with something I would like to get, but this year I want more than any thing you can buy.  I want to give!   I want to let my family and friends know how much they mean to me,  I want to serve others.   I want to have this blog to become a network for everyone who is depressed or just wants to be loved to read my wraps and know that they are enough!   They are perfect just as they are!  You are you!  I already have what I need LOVE!   


Just a thought;  if true friends know their friend is hiding something from you; you have a feeling that your friend is not letting out what is bringing your friend down. You think that they feel that if they tell you, you won’t accept them.  You know and want to be a support because you know how amazing they are but they don’t think they are good enough to be loved that much; How would like to let that friend know that they can tell you anything?

Letting people see who you really are; is amazing stop hiding who you really are! Because You are Amazing!

You are beautiful!

Life may not let you see how beautiful you are!   You maybe in a time in your life where things are not going you way.  You are having feelings of loneliness like no one cares or understands what you are going through.  You feel worthless.  You may not like the way you look or its something that you feel like no one will understand.    Well guess what!   You are not, you are worth to have support and to feel good enough to be,  you have people in your  life you are loved for who you are because there is no one else like you!  If you are feeling like this,  let someone know.   May be you are the kind of person that always takes care of others but when you need support there is no one to be there for you,  not true you have support!   You are loved!  

The Fight song

This song is for anyone who is going through a hard time, its just a great song to get you thought whatever life throws your way! I love this song, we all can relate to the words in this song somehow.

We might be healing from something or maybe this song just gives you hope to do something different in your life life. Whatever you going through know that you can get through it and if you need help ask someone for support don’t go through it alone. 

Help someone who might seem ok on the outside 

Even if you don’t know how the best way to support them 

The best gift you can give someone is love!
You might not think they appreciate what you are doing, 

but one day you will see that you just being there when they needed support 

Just Love and let them know that you are there for them. 

In honor of International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day

Life is amazing,  but for those who do not have love and support life can be hard.   Depression is something we can help with love and support,  we all go through hard times.   Trust me I’ve had times that I had to take a good look at all I can do,  sometimes having Cerebral palsy, can be hard especially when your body does not do what you want or when you have to have help with so much;  for me having times when I put myself down just because it doesn’t go the way I wanted it to but having support is what let’s me feel good about the things I had a hard time with.  I have known friends who have felt alone and or not good enough to have love in their lives,  to that guess what I say!  You are prefer you are special and you are YOU there is no like you!   Don’t think you are not loved or you don’t deserve love!   You do!   I know that depression is a sickness and that I don’t understand what it’s like to have feelings but I want to say that you are not alone there is love in your life;  friends who can help.   Love yourself because you are amazing and loved!  


I know so thankful for my very best friend!  This year I got to talk to her everyday.  When she had to deal with so much,  I wanted to be there for her,  but she was not going to let that hard time stop her from having life.   I think I got more out of speeding time with her and talking to her about everything.   I knew our friendship was strong but now I know it’s a little stronger!   I know we will always be close!   


 I am thankful for great night with a friend. . And I am thankful when I can do something special for a special friend! I have realized that best way to be there for someone is not just being with them but when you can’t be right next to them,  if you make sure everyday that they know how much they mean to you!   We never know when life will change so each day tell someone ” I love you”!

I’ve been really thinking about doing a information page for cancer research that I am going to start looking into.  This sickness can impact not the person who has it or has just through all the treatment and surgeries; it also the people who love that.   When a family member had it, I was freaking out until I understood what they would go through even then knowing that someone you love is sick it hard especially when you can’t help them.   I know I started this blog I wanted to help people who have depression and then it kind of changed to be about love because love can help everything I think.  If someone who is dealing with something hard if they know that someone is behind them it just makes that time a little easier for them.   And now that I have seen how much just being there when someone really needs it, its so powerful when your loved one knows that they have support.  So I am going to add a new part to my blog of information about cancer and other sickness that can impact someone’s life.   We can give someone light of love by supporting them through lifes hardest times!   

A new idea for this blog

I’ve been and talking to a friend about my blog; everyone knows how much I want to help others. My friend told me that I should think about doing like a cancer informing page on my blog, where I have articles about things or foods that could help keep your healthy. It seems like more and more people are dealing with it my mother, family members and friends. Let me know what you guys think. Should I have a information tab on my blog?

 Please let me know what you think.


“No bird can fly without opening its wings, and no once can love without exposing their hearts.”
— Mark Nepo

I have been working on this blog for a few years now and every year I seem to get a different idea as to what I want to write about.   I am so happy I can help others through my words,  I think there’s so much hurt, Suicide/depression and others sicknesses, and I wish I could do something to help each one of them but I can’t.   So I chose to write about love; depression is also one that I’m very interested in.  Really every one of these causes can all be supported with love! I don’t know much about depression but some of my friends deal with depression or maybe even think about suicide, When I think about that there are people who I love with may have that that kind of thoughts.    I want to learn so much more about depression so I can better understand, there is so much time I want to learn; so I can do what I love doing which is writing and helping people. Why do people not feel loved or worthiness? Why are there people out there who does like who  they are? They think it would be better if they take their own life?   I am not saying I understand these thoughts, I can’t do image what that feels like to not have anyone who cares about you, or the feeling like you are on your own.  Love is really needed, it may not heal all the lonely, hurt and anyone who is going through a sickness just send out love!

I wonder why ; when someone we love goes through a hard time we tend to love them more? Or is it just me! Why don’t we love others that way all the time?

Colorado’s Fall

Fall is so amazing all the different  colors coming from the trees.  

Yellows and golden leafs are so beautiful with the Colorado’s blue sky 

its so amazing to get to see everyday.
When you watch the leafs fall it looks like money falling from the sky!  

The things life puts in front of you sometimes, it can make hard to see why or to understand that everything we go through the a reason for it.   Even when it feels like  you have thought about taking your own life.  You can’t feel that people truly care about you.   Think again!   I don’t know what its feels like to think that taking your life would be better than living, I don’t know what it’s like to feel like no-one cares for you.   May be people don’t see what going on to know how to support you.  May be you are so hurt by people not giving you time,  you feel alone;  but if you look for love I’m sure that you have someone who loves you., Someone who you can talk too.  Life might bring you down sometimes but if you know that you are loved,  it will help.  

I love too much sometimes does that seem crazy?   Can we love too much?  I don’t think so, I know there is not enough love in the world.   We get into our lives and sometimes we forget that there are people who may not have anything that we don’t think about what we have as being a beautiful gift and there are people who might not know what that gift can do in life.   Love is the best feeling in the world, and knowing that the one thing that you could change someone who might be going through a hard time or maybe they are depressed and want to take their own life,  just be that one friend who loves on them in every way you can, let them know how much you care and that they can always talk to you.   That is the best way to help support someone. 

I am going to a leadership camp this weekend, I am so looking forward to this time! I’m so lucky because I have found out what I want to do with my life, help others it’s the best feeling ever!  This weekend will be about that, and how to open kids to see how amazing knowing the Lord  can be, I think and hope that I can learn something that will help me in my work here as a life coach as well.   I love that I can now spend my time writing in the hopes somewhere someone reads what I write about, and maybe it helps them feel inspired maybe just one minute. There are so many people hurting and don’t think that anyone   cares for them, I know I can’t help everyone, but this hurts me to know that there are people who don’t have love in their lives. I believe love is something no one should be without!


Life can be hard sometimes, some thing like losing a job or finding out that the way your life will go changes.   If you are facing something that will  be life changing, it can sometimes lead us into depression we all go through it where the we know it or not.   It’s something that if we talk about it, we could help save lives. There’s so many people that hide because they don’t want others to know.  I know depression is a sickness that people are not comfortable opening up about, but it is important to have a good support team that you can talk to whenever.   We all need to feel loved sometimes more than others.   Sometimes life can get hard to handle without the people who you know will always be by your side.   Love is everything!!  Even when you feel like there is no love in your life there is always love!


Butterflies are so amazing 

even though they only live one day.
They are magical, the way they fly into 

our day and somehow

they can put a smile on your face.
When you really need it! 


I’m away for the week.

Heading out of town

This week Ms. Wheelchair American is going on in Iowa.  I will never forget when I was Ms. Wheelchair Colorado 2010.  I had such an amazing week.   I still can’t believe that I had that experience and now I get to go back to watch this year’s Ms. Wheelchair Colorado have the same experience.  I will not be writing for  4days.


This summer I have been seeing a beautiful butterfly almost everyday,  that is so cool to see.   I wonder if there is something I could learn from seeing a beautiful butterfly everyday.   A butterfly lifetime is only a few days,  but they are so amazing why can’t they live longer?   May be I’m learning how much each day really matters because you don’t know what will happen.   Love each day like today is the day to make a differences!

My heart is sad but happy at the same time, its seems crazy that we can be happy and happy. But sometimes it just is. I see my amazing friends and family and I know I am blessed! Love can help others who are going through hard times right now .

Life can show you the people who really need to be loved.  When we realize how much that person means to you,its like you can not get the right words out to let them know how much love you have for him or her. Its easy to think about how much that person means to you,  but when it is necessary to express how much they are loved.   Its like the hardest thing to do .  Why?   Or when life changes for a loved one,  it can sometimes wake you up into realizing that things can change so much that you should always tell people how much they mean to you.  How do you show someone just how much love you have for them?

There are so many ways we can give to others,  my favorite is not ”something” but love.   Love is one thing that never changes.  Sometimes we just need to know that we are loved!   A relationship is what we all need someone to talk to,  someone that gets you even when you don’t forget understand why you are acting weird.  Relationships are so much more important than something you can ever buy!

”You can bless people through your very presence. Never underestimate the gifts and magic of you!”


Self confidence is something we all could work on.   We often times don’t think we are good enough to do or be a change in the world.  The things that we think we can make a change in,  we should just go for it why do we care about what others think.  If you know you can make a change, we just do it!

“I am confident because I can admit who I am, what I’ve done, and love myself for who I’ve become.”
Author Unknown


What is love? How can it be so heeling?

Its so crazy how much we need to have love in our lives.   Just think about how much love can do.   When you are in a weird mood or you don’t think that you have love in your life the day has been to hard for you;  when someone says they love you.  Doesn’t that just make everything a little better just knowing that? We need to have love in our lives it just makes things that much better.   You may be going through a lot right but if you know that you are loved and supported it seems that much easier.

Who is a true hero?

In life there are unseen heroes.

The people who don’t look at the hard times and want to give up

The ones who put others first.

Someone who has it hard but still has a great out look on life

We all know someone who is an true hero!
Let that person know how you feel!


Love is the best gift you can give someone!   Something so easy can impact someone’s life in so many ways,  you might not see how.   But if that person knows how much they are cared for it can make all the difference.   This is why I know how inspecting and loving others is what I am meant to.  To me Love is my favorite gift to receive and especially to give!
”If I could give you any GIFT, I’d give you
L O V E and L A U G H T E R a peaceful Heart,
a special Dream, and JOY Forever after. ~ Unknown”

A great message from a follower

This poem is from one of my followers Wendy Crawford.  I thought that you all would like to see this.
Love has so many different feelings
Our love for God/Jesus…….
Loving everything that God put in this world for us to see and hear……

people can be very attracted to each other……..
parent and child bonding………,
love for animals………, family members……

I would like to hear from everybody who wants to share anything about love or any other topic;  I’m hoping that this will be a safe place where people can come and feel loved.

Let love lead the way.

This song says it the way I think we all have felt sometimes.   There is so much heartache and brokenness but why?   When love is easy to give,  yes it can get hard but it is so worth it!   It is something that can help anything you will go through.   Life is full of change and hurt but when you have support behind you,  the hard times seem a little easier just knowing that you have someone by your side!

My mum

To Mom, You are Strong. The strongest women I know! Always there knowing what it means to love someone else more than yourself. I am very happy, grateful you are mine! I love you always my mom! 5/10/14