Ask before helping

It is a habit for everybody, if you see somebody who needs help you want to help them. But to someone who is disabled it might not come across the way you would think.  As a person who needs help for everything; I can tell you that sometimes I will not take the help not because I don’t appreciate the offer.  But I would like to try before you think I need help.  Yes it may seem like it would be easier to just help a differently abled  person but maybe they would like to try to be more independent and find a way to do it. For some of us who use power wheelchairs to get around;  sometimes we will meet people who do not know that we are the only ones who can move it easily and if we need help we will ask, we can do everything just in a different way.   Having a disability comes needing help with daily life things that would be easy to someone who is  ”abled body”.  It doesn’t mean that we can’t do things if someone is differently abled it just means we have to do things in a different way.   So to you who are abled body the next time you see a person who is differently ask if you can help them before you do.

Comparison is always the beginning of the death of self-love. Comparison is a daily brutalization against the self-esteem. Comparison sets the mark on its daily measure toward inevitable failure, and inadequacy. It doesn’t matter how beautiful you are because there is always someone more beautiful. It doesn’t matter how intelligent you are because there is always someone more intelligent. It doesn’t matter how much money you have because there is always someone with more money. It doesn’t matter how successful you are because there is always someone more successful. You see, this is a game you can never win. It does not matter how real your perceived deficits are; what matters is how you give life to them and amplify them through comparison and judgment against yourself. You are the supreme adjudicator of worthiness in your life. You decide how satisfied you are with yourself; no one else. You must cease all viciousness toward yourself once and for all. You can only evolve beyond the vicious self-analysis and violent comparison to others through loving yourself. If you can silence your constant judging you can have deeper levels of love and friendship with others and yourself.

— Bryant McGill

Freedom and love go together. Love is not a reaction. If I love you because you love me, that is mere trade, a thing to be bought in the market; it is not love. To love is not to ask anything in return, not even to feel that you are giving something- and it is only such love that can know freedom. — Jiddu Krishnamurti

Cp

 

There are so many different kinds of disabilities some we don’t even think of as a disability. Look up the word disability, ”Disability is an impairment that may be physical, cognitive, intellectual, mental, sensory, developmental, or some combination of these that results in restrictions on an individual’s ability to participate in what is considered “normal” in their everyday society.” But is anyone exactly the same? No,we all have a difference and that to me is a disability. But people who are so called normal they aren’t, being normal to me means we would all be exactly the same but we are different from each other which is amazing.  So think about this; why when people see someone who has a visible difference why are they named disabled why isn’t everyone? I think it’s because people who are “disabled” need more help daily.   I agree that does make sense but don’t you sometimes need a little more help?  I have Cerebral palsy, Athetoid, Main article: Athetoid cerebral palsy Athetoid cerebral palsy or dyskinetic cerebral palsy is mixed muscle tone — hypertonia and hypotonia mixed with involuntary motions. People with dyskinetic CP have trouble holding themselves in an upright, steady position for sitting or walking, and often show involuntary motions. For some people with dyskinetic CP, it takes a lot of work and concentration to get their hand to a certain spot (like scratching their nose or reaching for a cup). Because of their mixed tone and trouble keeping a position, they may not be able to hold onto objects, especially small ones requiring fine motor control (such as a toothbrush or pencil). About 10% of individuals with CP are classified as dyskinetic CP but some have mixed forms with spasticity and dyskinesia. The damage occurs to the extrapyramidal motor system and/or pyramidal tract and to the basal ganglia. In newborn infants, high bilirubin levels in the blood, if left untreated, can lead to brain damage in the basal ganglia (kernicterus), which can lead to dyskinetic cerebral palsy.[citation needed.)”‘   This is one thing which makes me different.   What makes you different from anyone else?

It’s all there. Everything you need to know. Why you are here, what you are here to do and how you must go about accomplishing every task. It’s all right there in your heart. Spend some time listening to your heart. Ask to be guided away from what you no longer need or desire onto the path of all that you deserve. — Iyanla Vanzant

The greatest success is to have a lightness in your heart, and to be completely at ease and comfortable by being exactly what you were created to be; your own unique and beautiful expression of the divine. The respect of intelligent people does not matter at all, neither does the appreciation of honest critics. Betrayal of false friends, criticisms, and all societal markers of so-called success are meaningless. When laying on your deathbed you will care very little what critics had to say, how much money you had in the bank, what type of car you drove, or, whether so-called smart and intelligent people respected you.

See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness. — Eckhart Tolle

This is a great article written by an close friend who knows a lot about the disabled community,  she has  a great view in this topic; education for the disabled children. I agree with her,  as someone who has been through two schools systems one of them was not as best into the disabled as what could the child use to work more in.   I don’t think that he should have been taken out of school , I think the school with his mind could have worked together to create a way that would help the rest of the school and the community to have a better understanding of a person with a disability. I know this story is about one child but I think about schools and communities should try to be more including of those with disabilities.

-http://www.amchp.org/AboutAMCHP/Newsletters/Pulse/JulyAugust2016/Pages/From-the-President.aspx.

 

My job with Accessible-systems and Living a life of love within yourself are coming together.

I love helping others that has been my dream; I am also disabled and know how hard life can be when you are different!   I have recently got a job with Accessible-systems; writing articles.  I have been thinking about combining the two, they are very important to me.     Depression is one topic I’m very interested in, and a few other topics that could come up if you are disabled or even if you have a difference which no one understands.   Why is that;  when we are all different?  Everything that I love doing can be connected .  So there will be more to come about disabilities, differences between them and of course how we can all support each other.

This is something I totally agree with.

Because many of them have achieved what we couldn’t, even when we have all the means, period. Hello everyone! World is so full of different kinds of people. Long legs, short hair, warm complexion, skinny frame, large eyes, small mouth, nose that does not look straight (I do not know the exact word. Please, enlighten […]

via Disabled vs Specially-Able — Eloraquence

Don’t give in to the tough times if you’re experiencing them right now. Don’t give up on your dreams or the possibility that your situation can change in an instant. Determine for yourself…ain’t no mountain high enough and ain’t no valley low enough…to keep you away from your dream of a better future. Kindle the fire of hope and blow on the flames of possibility. You are bigger than any fear and stronger than any doubt about your future. Hold on…keep looking up. It’s not over until you win! You have GREATNESS within you! — Les Brown

  • I have a disability that it’s very easily seen; some disabilities are invisible,  we all have some kind of disabled .  But when someone who has a disability goes out and tries  to have a life not letting our disability get in the way to the having a normal life.  When you think about us all having a disability doesn’t it make you wonder why if you are different you get looked at? The more we get to know somebody the more we see how alike we are.   When someone who hasn’t been around people with disabilities, they don’t understand/know that just because some of has a disability, but if the disabled community was not seen as different by schools,  governments groups and others;  maybe disabled people wouldn’t have to always explain their differences.   Thinking about it in this way wouldn’t you want to change the way differences are thought of?  People who have disability can do the same things as an abled person, it may be in a different way but people with disabilities aren’t that different from the “normal” person.   The government has placed people with disabilities in a group that people think they need to be shameful,  very helpful or the opposite;  not knowing what is a disability and not knowing how to communicate with someone who has a disability.  We can start by not dividing children in schools and teach them that disability or not we are all equal!

https://thinkprogress.org/disabled-voters-feeling-ignored-by-candidates-take-election-into-own-hands-ce0a495c5ec2#.xuzs80d0o. This year’s candidates don’t realize that by ignoring the disability community and the issues like,  medical coverage or the many issues that not only affect those who are disabled but everyone.  People who aren’t disabled follow the two candidates may think that it’s fine to ignore the people who are different; when the candidates should be understanding of the disabled community,  rather than ignoring them because the candidates might not know much about disabled people.   Some of the issues they don’t speak on are Unemployment. Incarceration rates. Access to education. Medicare coverage gaps. Reproductive rights, these are important issues which everyone at some point in life has needed something in one of these areas.  There is a lot to think about; as a disabled person voting.   

I can’t walk but it doesn’t mean I can’t think or that I have a learning disability.   I am physically disabled!   Sometimes when I am out with family, friends and or on my own,  I will sometimes get a person who will act as if I can’t think or they will talk to me in  ”baby talk”, if I am with someone they will talk to them about me!  I understand that some people are not comfortable with people who have a disability, but why?   When we all have some kind of difference we all have some kind of disability which is what makes us unique.   So why is it so weird that I can’t walk and I talk funny,  there is nothing wrong with my mind!   If you have questions about my disability you can ask me not the person I’m with. I have CP, so what!   There is so much more about me than just my disability!

https://scontent.fsnc1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p526x296/14054027_894614080643398_7961637065884496604_n.png?oh=c7cd844feb0ffc555ddde2a64639c703&oe=5811957A

To all my friends in chairs; or anyone who agrees with me that no matter if you are so called “normal” you still have some kind of difference which I would call it a disability. First do you think that everyone has a disability? If we were all the same the word we wouldn’t have any needs or differences. 2ed. What would you do to help someone who hasn’t had any experience with a person who has a visible disability; know that we are all the same?

I think I finally know exactly what I was meant to do ,write/bloging,,getting awareness out, teaching people that being disabled doesn’t mean that we can’t do everything. don’t you know we all have some kind of differences that is what is a disability?”” And I want to be able to have depression and disability be in one blog.

Crossing the Rubicon of absolute pain is the only journey of purpose and meaning in life. Without your pain you are nothing but a spiritual embryo. Your pain offers you, the student, a choice of how you will receive the lesson. You can choose to let the pain harden your heart even more and close you off to the blessings of life. Or, you can allow the hammer of pain to split open the stone armor of your hardness; exposing the tenderness and beauty of your sweet spirit and sacred heart. Your pain is a divine rite of passage through which you will be reborn as a being of strength, wisdom and purpose. With your new eyes, you will see yourself and the world differently. With your new eyes, first look deeply at yourself, and see in yourself the divine architect’s incomprehensible art! Your first realization will be that you are beautiful!

— Bryant McGill

If you feel overwhelmed just try to relax and look for one positive thought. Every good thing begins with one positive thought. You don’t need to change everything in your life instantly. All you need is one positive thought. You can hold-on to that thought, and it will remind you that there is hope. One simple, positive thought is enough to make it all worth it. All your troubles, struggles, pains, and suffering is worth one good thing. Those good things come to us just when we need them the most, like an angel throwing us a life-preserver before we go under the waters of despair. One positive thought can save your life or the life of another. One positive thought is the miracle for which you have been waiting. One positive thought will shift the entire world under your feet. One positive thought is something you can accomplish. One positive thought is the victory you need today!

— Bryant McGill

Lately in my life there has been a lot of loss and changes good and bad.  Sometimes when going through a time like this it’s easy to feel like you don’t want to let anyone else in; I have had that thought and feeling that loved ones who I don’t know how I could handle losing them.  But I can’t think like that I can’t not open my heart to someone, that is not who I am. Loss,  change can be hard and sometimes a little overwhelming if you can’t see the end of this season,  or maybe you just want to know if you will be ok at the end of this season in life.  You will if you keep trying and don’t let the sadness get you down so much that you forget what you have.  Some people will change but those who are meant to be in your life will always be there!  What is meant to be,  will always come true!   

You still got it!! It doesn’t matter how old you are…it doesn’t matter if you don’t have two pennies to rub together and the ATM machine says…Put your card away! You may have gone through a major disappointment, or may feel stuck and overwhelmed. Know this. You still got it! Even if you feel that all the odds are against you…keep looking up! Friends and others may laugh. Continue to look for ways to win. Say to yourself, over and over again, with deep conviction — I still got it. Work to improve yourself and strengthen your mind. Remember that even if things don’t turn out exactly as you would like them to, it won’t be the end of your world. Keep the faith…and keep saying to yourself…I still got it. Because, you do! You Deserve! — Les Brown

Pray beyond petitioning for the stuff you want for yourself. Learn to be present to the grace of the sacred. Open yourself to the mystic that you are by nature. Your intuition is not a skill to be honed so that you can figure out how to stay safe and avoid losing money. If you think that, you will never develop more than your gut instincts. You need to challenge your fear of life becoming unreasonable – because it is already unreasonable. In truth, your life has never been reasonable, it’s just that you keep hoping tomorrow will be different and that you will find a way to bring more control into your world. — Caroline Myss

Choose to be happy now! Everyday life presents you with a full-service menu from which to choose — peace or anger; sadness or joy; forgiveness or revenge; trust or suspicion; and love versus hate. Your response to the behaviors of other people, as well to life’s challenges, will determine your perception of your own happiness. Remember— when things go wrong, don’t go with them! Happiness is a choice that you make every moment of every day. Hold it in your mind; pursue it with your passion; show it on your face; create it within yourself; and then bring it out for the world to experience in the unique spirit of you! You have something special! You have GREATNESS within you!! — Les Brown

The number of days and years one lives on Earth is insignificant. It’s the quality of those days and years that’s important, quality measured in loving acts and achieved wisdom. ‘Some people do more good in one day than others do in a hundred years.’ This is their message. ‘Every soul, every person is precious. Every person helped, every life aided or saved, is immeasurably valuable.
― Brian L. Weiss