A time for change

Days are unknown,
Days can bring sadness,
But also happiness,
It can be hold hope
New adventures that could help grow
But mostly it is exciting !

if you have any kind of disability, you know that you are going to work harder in anything, that you want to do. Just because others don’t see us as equal! They first feel like we are children even though we are not or otherwise they want to do everything for us! Wny is it still not understood that people with disabilities can do everything just in a different way! We have the ADA but really what good does that do? It just seems to make life for us harder in some cases, yes it is there to help us but think about it why do we need it? I feel like it’s because other people have not to accept people with disabilities, so we need it so we could have a life. But it doesn’t fix the people who don’t read the book of the ADA or we can’t just use it to help us through our problems sometimes it takes knowing about what people want, need maybe even just to let them know that you want to understand what is it like for them..

Real Talk

You matter! You are the best. You need to be here. People can need you. People need you because you are different and unique. We can learn from you. We need to start talking about mental issues like it’s something that doesn’t change who you are. Mental illness is hard enough. If we don’t talk about it, we will never get beyond the school shootings. I know it’s not the whole reason there are shootings in schools and public places, but I feel like all the bullying is a factor. People are not happy with who they are. We have to be the same so we don’t talk about how we feel. We hide when we are sad or upset or have a need for people. Because we feel like we need to fit in, we don’t talk about the things that really hurt us. Now there’s a big movement in mental health which is awesome. However, it should’ve been going on this whole time.

Mental Health Stigma

Lately, people have been so focused on themselves, what other people think about them, and how they look. I used to be so focused on my body movements and how people saw me that I wasn’t being who I am. I’ve been watching the news lately, and there has been a lot about the mental health movement. I think it’s great, but at the same time, I feel like people don’t understand how much people are suffering just so they can fit in. They are hiding the way they actually feel just so they can have people around them. The number of people who commit suicide is getting higher every year just because society has a model of how we need to look and act to fit in, have a normal life, and/or keep a job. However, I have seen that the more people try to fit in, the more they get depressed and don’t talk about how they really feel. Not everyone has to fit in or change themselves just to get people behind them. I feel mental health is getting worse because we think we need to change the perspective of acceptance of mental health. We are all different for a reason. I know I can’t do much, but I wish there was a way to change how society makes people feel.

What is life without people who you can count on? Do we all want that? What if you have a mental illness? You have to hide how much you are hurting, just because others don’t see or understand that your mind is designed differently. I know I’m not a psychiatrist or anything like that, but everytime I hear a story of someone talking about their mental illness and then having people walk out of their life because of something they can’t help or they feel a different way drives me crazy. I am going to find a way to break down that stigma.

Help each other

Hello friends, I know I have not been writing a whole lot, but I hope to change that. I know with covid a lot has changed the way we live, but I hope it hasn’t changed the way we show love! More than ever Love is needed for us to make it through this crazy new way of life! It is hard to get out and see loved ones but we have able to make video calls. Mental health has been high just because of we can’t get out! Just find a way to talk to people about how you feel, it will help!! 💚💚

Suicide prevention month

These days suicide is high, we see people who have perfect boobies that is what should look like right? No wrong! We are just the way we are for a reason! As we are looking though Facebook or the news we don’t see how different people are; or if they have a disability. So we get picked on, because we are different or you are dealing with depression not to be lonely we hide it and then we feel worst and it could lead to suicide. Let it out just be you because there is no one like you!

The Differences We Are Taught To Hide

Every person in the world has some kind of special need. You could even call it a disability depending how you view disabilities. We all need help, otherwise why are there so many people in the world who are different? In school and life, society teaches us to hide our differences and be the same to fit in. Most people will hide their differences to make friends. The second somebody knows you have a difference, they tend to see you as somebody who is not okay. It doesn’t matter if you are healthy and happy. I’m sure everyone needs company. To me, everybody needs to be themselves and show who they really are. It shouldn’t matter if you are disabled or if you have any kind of health issues. We all need to be able to tell people what we feel and have the confidence to be ourselves and be okay. Everyone is different for a reason. We need to be different to help each other see different perspectives. Again I ask you, why are we so worried about fitting in? Differences are needed.


You are different. You are hurting and no-one knows how to help! Because you don’t want tell anyone that you have a mental illness. Because it could change the way people see you. But just remember you are important and needed. There is only one person like you! Let people see the you that has been hiding trying to fit in, when you were born to stand out!

What can happen to someone who feels depressed

Suicide is because people don’t feel understood, loved or supported. People who have a mental illness don’t like to let it out just because of the stigma that people have around mental illness just others don’t see why somebody is sad all the time or; someone doesn’t want to do anything, maybe they are depressed or hurting and they don’t want to talk about it.. we all have down times so why do we think mental illness is just made up just so they can get out of something: NO THEY ARE HURTING! Suicides are happening because they feel like they can’t say anything about having a mental illness just because of the stigma, so they don’t tell us! Hiding it can lead to suicide!

You can help !

May is mental health awareness month; I think it should be each month. Mental Illness is hard to understand, but if we could learn about how it works or what we can do to support someone hiding behind they have a mental illness, just a mental illness has a bad reputation! Many people hide it, and it is not fair to the person who has to deal with it. We could support them; it could help more than we could ever imagine!

The Importance of Love

Love can mean different things to different people. I know for myself that I can love hard to where it can be overwhelming or seem a different way than I want perceived. Love can be very hard to feel sometimes, but sometimes it’s needed more than anything else. We also have, in a way, used the word too much. This can make it less meaningful. There are people that don’t love themselves, so they don’t see why somebody would love them. I love like crazy, and I’m not going to stop. However, I’m going to show it differently.

I am!

I am love!

I am disabled, I am going to inspire others!

I will change the way the world views mental illnesses and disabilities!

I am different, I can make a difference!!

Say I love you!!

Love you are words that we don’t say to offend, as if we are scared to say how we truly feel. When we are down and feeling lonely, we need to hear that the most! We need to be needed, supported and loved! Now days it’s more important than ever, because we are not able to be with our loved ones. So just say, I love you like it’s going out of style!

Losing a loved one can be hard, but add it to the time of year, where everyone is joyful and giving is in our hearts. But I feel like when you are going through loss, you cannot think of anything else. I imagine you would just want to be alone to grief and maybe it’s what helps, maybe just cry!! I have been through grief, but not during this time of year. How would you feel?

Crazy Times

Hey everyone. I’m sorry I haven’t been writing a lot this year. I think I have lost my inspiration or maybe because this year has been so hard for all of us because of the virus. I just have not had that much inspiration. But this year has been amazing at the same time as being very hard. As you know, I have a disability that I can’t do anything physical, but I can say now that I have climbed the tallest mountain in Colorado, and now I moved into my own house, I’m trying to make it on my own without my family here to help everyday. I am grateful that I have a great family who built the place for me, but I also know that it’s time for me to be my own person. This year has also been hard because we can’t see people we love or go anywhere. It’s kind of weird. I can’t remember a year that I haven’t gone out of Colorado.

What can I say and how do I start to describe how I feel about doing this hike?! Before the event was planned, I always wondered what it would be like to go on a hike up a mountain. But, I also never thought that I could do it! Having the kind of Cerebral Palsy that I do, I could not see myself doing something like that or making others help me get me up a mountain. I know how long it takes for a typical person to do something like that, and it takes me much longer. As Jeff and I started talking about how I could go on this trip, I didn’t think there would be so many people who would come and volunteer, especially with everything that has been happening this year. The weeks before the event, to be honest, I was not that nervous. I had typical feelings about hard questions that needed to be asked. Two questions that we had to answer were: How do we keep bears and other animals away, and what would happen if I got sick? With some brainstorming, we decided that a dog named Lady could stay in my tent to alert me and Jeff if there was an animal nearby. Lady is actually Jeff’s dog, but sometimes I like to call her my own. In regards to me getting sick, I actually got one of my headaches that I get often. I was okay getting to the halfway mark and to base camp. When I got out of the chair and laid down, however, I started getting nauseous and even threw up many times. I could tell that everyone was looking at me. They were wondering if I had altitude sickness and if I should go back down. When I get sick, it’s harder for me to talk. As I could see everyone getting worried, Jeff told them that it was a normal headache for me. I just needed a few hours to rest. By the evening, I rejoined the group. If Jeff didn’t know what I needed, I couldn’t have reached the end goal!If Jeff was busy, other volunteers stepped in to assist me with my care needs. I was never really too scared about having other people help me. I am used to having different people help me with my care. I was just excited to get to do something that I always wanted to do! Getting there and realizing how many people were there to help me get up this mountain was so overwhelming. I was emotional because I had so many people to help me have this once-in-a-lifetime experience. It was great seeing people who didn’t even know each come together to make it happen! When we saw the top, I started crying out of happiness! Having this experience means so much to me! A few people came up to me during the weekend. They told me I was a hero. Honestly, I don’t see it that way. I just wanted to do something that anybody else would do, if they like hiking I would like to thank everyone who volunteered so much! I would like to give a special thanks to Jeffrey Lockwood, the founder and organizer of The Lockwood Foundation. Without him and the volunteers, this wouldn’t have been possible.

Hi, everyone. I know I haven’t done anything to this page in forever. I thought after my year of being Ms. Wheelchair I couldn’t be Ms. Wheelchair 2010, but I now realize that even though it’s not my year, I will always be Ms. Wheelchair CO 2010. I am going to try to post more on here. If I do anything that is around disabilities or my crazy CP, it is because I have been thinking a lot about being Ms. Wheelchair for 10 years now. I can’t get over that I am part of something that can change someone’s outlook on being in a chair. I don’t think enough people know about Ms. Wheelchair America and how important it is, so I want to tell the world how amazing it is. Even 10 years later, I wonder why I got picked to be Ms. Wheelchair CO 2010. I’m working on a business for myself, and I have hiked Mt Elbert. Before I was Ms. Wheelchair, I knew I could do anything I wanted, but because of the way I talk and my movements, there were certain things I thought I couldn’t do. When I went to Ms. Wheelchair, I saw all the people in chairs, and they didn’t let the wheelchair stop them. It gave me confidence to finish college and try some stuff that I would would never think I could do, like hiking a mountain or starting a business. Ms. Wheelchair America, Inc.



Mental illness and having a disability are along the same line. They’re both not easy to deal with, and people often don’t understand what it is like to have a difference. I have been thinking about how I could focus on one subject, mental illness or disability; I couldn’t pick just one for my business. They are both very misunderstood. Because I have a disability that makes me move crazy and talk funny, I have to work harder to make friends. I don’t actually know what it’s like to have a mental illness, but I know as soon as someone talks about having a mental illness, people run away. People also think it’s made up because it’s not visible. I don’t believe any of that. I want to find a way to start a movement to change the way people view mental illness. I know there have been different movements to change the stigma for women and people with disabilities. Why or how can we start a movement for mental illness?

Mental health is important

The mind is like a book
With lots of different stores,
That makes up us.
We all have things that makes us happy
But for some love could be what is needed most to help, when they are depressed.
Love and understanding is what needed!  

Today is suicide prevention day. This is something I wish more people knew about, and understood what mental illnes is like for the person that has to deal with it. But sometimes people think it’s something made up, but it’s not that at all! Mental illness is a sickness that we can help better the lives who have it, if we understood more about Mental illness!

Mount Albert experience!

My CP its not common to have, there are a lot things I need to figure out another way to do what I want in life, including talking daily. I don’t let anything get in the way. I have always wanted to do something out of the ordinary and I’m going to do exactly that. I’m going to climb a mountain not only that but is the highest in Colorado, my mind is going crazy I’m not one to act like I can’t do anything but I never thought I’d be going on a hike this big and now I am talking about this hike like is no big deal and IT IS A BIG DEAL because it would be possible if it wasn’t for the Lockwood Foundation. I’m going to keep writing about this til it comes because I’m beyond excited and also kind of nervous I have no idea what to expect.

Mental illness can be hard to deal with, but people do.  As someone who knows some people who dispersion I want to learn everything I can about mental health.  So I have been reading a lot about it, and it made me realize how much everyone could still understand about mental health.. is it worth it and needed! I am going to change the way we look at it and help those who hid their mental illness away just because people don’t understand.


Mental health is important to talk about, we don’t because people are nevus to talk about having a mental health problems. Because people don’t see it as a real problem, but it is important to talk your feelings it may be the only thing that helps.. Maybe you will even see that you are special and needed!

Hello everyone, happy belated New year.. I am sorry I haven’t been writing. I’ve been going through some stuff, and I have been reading so much. I’ve been reading when I should have been working on my writing.. I am going to try to write more.  I have not feeling like myself lately, I have been sad and unmotivated: some might call it being depressed but I think it’s being in a new place and not knowing many people or not having anything to do, but I do have things to do and people to talk to so I think I need to stop feeling down and and start writing, I don’t have to go out to feel like I am making a difference. I can do that from my blog. So that is what I am going to fouse on, to help me keep motivated!

Depression and any kind of mental health problem is so real. But it’s not talked about, we act like it’s not real: as if they are trying to get more love. But really people with mental health problem are not acting they do need help.  Depression and mental health does need to be talked about!

Lately I have been reading like crazy and that is why I haven’t been writing.. I have moved to Pueblo and sometimes I get down because I get lonely,, I wonder if I made the right decision for me. But it will get better, once I have my own house.

Have you ever loved someone that the more you try to tell thecan\’t find the right word to describe how much you love them! Each time it gets harder.. But somehowm it’s like you can’t find the right word to describe how much you love them! Each time it gets harder.. But somehow you know they understand how you feel. So that is what you need to trust and stop over thinking of ways to show them,, they know!

Looking out on a snowy day, I don’t like snow but watching come down is beautiful. As many other things in life. We don’t always see it, but beauty is in everything we just need to take the time to see it.

Everyone has times where we wonder if we’re doing what we are meant for, if we can do more. During times of change is hard to find yourself but if you have support you will find your way..

Today I am thankful for light in our life that helps us keep happy. For me, it’s love and helping others see they’re loved ❤️. Shining into someone else’s life is the best way to give them love..

Day 11, I know I missed a few days but I have decided that I will do my own days. Today I thankful for books and reading! I have always been a big reader but now I can read on my phone.! I’m reading anytime i can!

Day 8. I’m thankful for my family, and the family that has became so close to me I think of them as family.. My birth family is so far away that it’s nice to have friends that are my 2ed family!

Day 7. I love music, sometimes that’s all I need to get happy! I love when a good song comes on, and I am able to go to other place. A favorite song can remind you a moment and or a friendship. I’m thankful for music and what it gives us..

Day 6, do you ever give thanks for something in your life that is hard.. Today I am giving thanks for my CP. I know it’s the thing that has helped me become the person I am today but it has made my life harder, but I am the way I am! The hardest thing about my CP is, people who don’t know me can’t understand me.. Most people who don’t know me think I can’t think for myself and it drives me nuts! I have recently became ok with it. It’s not me it’s them!

Day 5. I love to help others. I have been on a few boards, since I can’t get a job I’ve decided to help with non-profit organizations: which I went to school for. My friend who loves the outdoors as much as I would if I could walk: we started an special needs outdoors organization.! It has changed my life! It has been amazing to see people’s lives change just because they are now able to do something that they couldn’t do without this organization.. I’m thankful for that organization and this friendship.

You know when you are a child, getting a gift to open on your birthday is the thing that makes your day. It’s great to get gifts, but for me it’s the people who have made an impact on me to help me become the person i am meant to be. I have a disability so a mentor can be important just to help talk though life. I have found one who has been very close to me for a long time now and I just realized that we have been talking daily for years I thought it would be nice, a mentor is someone who understands what is going on in your life and you can talk about anything. We’re very close, I love my mentor. I’m thankful for her.

Day 3, I’m thankful for love and support. I’m a happy person mostly but I do have my bad days. But I have so much love that when I am having a hard time, I have people that I can talk to about anything and that is what makes the difference in my life!

I use to hate writing because I am a terrible speller, it didn’t help that I was not able to write on my own until I was in high school, which helped when we can write for ourselves and we can see and learn how to write. Now that I can write on my own, I love to write! I’m starting to keep my diary and doing this blog that I hope helps others I am realizing how much I love to write. Day2 I am thankful for writing!

Thanksgiving month is here! One of my favorite time of year, I always try to write each day what I am thankful for that day but I don’t always keep doing it. So let’s see if I write each day… This year was a great year I have so much to be thankful for. I realized what is a true gift is. I will write more on that later this month. Day1, I am thankful for memories that help make you who you are today!

Starting over can be hard but it could be what is needed to grow yourself, in so many ways. But it also gives you anxiety, I’m in that in life, I want this I know it will be great for me, but right now it’s a little hard.. I’m not sure what to do each day. I know it will get better but now I’m going through anxiety but I am not giving in.

Today is Mental health day. I like to think I stand to help people with mental health problems… It’s a difference that most people don’t understand. I understand that having depression or bipolar it’s not something you can help! I am going to try to help stop the way others view mental health because it’s not right.

I have a kind of CP that is not very common. It effects all my motions and my ability to walk, and talk well but with all that makes my daily life harder, I love it. I have worked hard to get where I am today. I have a great support team to where I live on my own. I am working on starting my own business to help others who have mental health problems..

You matter.! You are so needed, you are special. These things are not said enough. Saying I love you, can make their day,, you may not know how much those words can change someone’s life.. we need that more than anything else.

Being happy with the way your life is what you make it. Being happy is not how you have but how you look at life!

I love with everything I have! What makes me happy is knowing that the people whom I hold close know just how much they mean to me. I love doing things for others, it is makes my heart happy, yeah my CP makes my days hard at times but I have learned how to deal with CP. I have so much love that it makes me want to help others.

Someone somewhere is dealing with depression, but hiding it because if you have a difference you get out casted. Depression is not something to take lightly it could get to where they could take their own life. When we can do something to help them feel loved and needed.. Don’t let depression tran you a way from them. Be there, because your friendship and love might be the only thing that helps!

Depressed hurts it not only hurts the one who has it but also everyone who loves them.. it’s hard to know what to do if someone you know is going through depression; you may not know what to do to help them without them realizing that you are aware of their depression. As I learn more about people who have depression, most people don’t want to talk about it but you can tell by the way they act: as if nothing matters or they don’t want to do anything. Also if they don’t care about themselves! You can tell, but it’s hard to know what to do or tell them.. Depression is like your mind takes over and we don’t understand why people are pulling away and hiding: but we want to help we want to find a way of being there for them when they feel alone. Just be there it could be all that is needed!

Love is the best gift you could give someone! It’s the one thing that we all can give to help someone who is going through a tough time. Without even knowing how much you are doing for the person, they know you care.. These days we are dealing with more depression, more people who think they are not worth love or they are not enough: people who need to get lefted up.! Maybe you don’t think you can help them, but if you are loving them you’re helping them in more ways than you will ever know. So love others.

The past week was Amazing!

This past week was full of moments that I will never forget from the hike on the 4th, to getting a special weekend in Chicago!
Last Thursday I was able to hike up a mountain with my friends, which amazing to think that I could do it! I have always been one to think anything is possible if you put your mind to it, but hiking a mountain was out for me. But one of my friends who hikes all the time, said it would be possible to get me up a mountain! We started a group together for people with disabilities on hikes and camp outs.. For my birthday he took me to the top of a mountain! Amazing time and with an amazing group of people, I was going on a mountain hike I was just another person,. I was in a wheelchair that was pushed and pulled up to the top, and I was loving the new friends and experience. The next day I was up early to go to Chicago for my best friend weekend.. I was so excited. I thought I was going to make her feel special but she had everything set up to let me i was family! We got a tour of Chicago and a game which was fun! Then just hanging out with her was the best gift I ask for!