Mental illness

Today is mental illness awareness day, depression, suicide and many others disabilities in which nobody can see.  The hardest difference to talk about, there are many different thoughts on this topic; even if you deal with depression it may be different in your life than anyone else.  It is so different for everyone, for some talking about it helps them, others just hide it.   I don’t know very much about mental illness but it’s one topic I want to help.

What is the best thing you can give someone?   When it really matters;  if you know they are going through the hardest time and wandering if it could get better.  Giving them your time they could make all the difference.

I read this and loved it!   I know how just knowing you are loved can help in ways you can only Imagine.  “deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu”.    Knowing that you have somebody any time of day just makes everything easier.

True friendships

I love sunny days when you can I outside and just let your mind wonder.  I’ve thinking about people who were there when I needed them, the people that are not family but somehow that friendship becomes more than just friends.  May be you are not one who believes in that.  But I can tell you if you started your life in a different country you would understand it.   Its not because it don’t love my family but when your life is in the other side of the world;  you being to see that family can be friendships that mean the most.  Friends who see you the way you are and that’s what truly matters.

me

I am a happy person mostly if you just read my blogs or have seen my facebook you would think I am so busy I have so many friends and people who want to do things with me;  I do have amazing friendships and family which I wouldn’t give up for anything I know how lucky I am!  But sometimes I do get down in a place where I don’t want to let others know I feeling a depressed and I know it’s ok to get down have sad days.  Here is a look in to my days and why I have been feeling a little lonely; it’s hard for me to get out when I want to, and I understand that my friends have busy lifes and it takes more for me to get out; I need to have an caregiver to take me, if my friend can’t come get me.  So I look at my aids as my friends and it’s ok, if I had all day care which I don’t, I don’t need to have any day health care but I sometimes want to just hang out for the day with them, but I know I can’t they are here to help me within the hours I have.   There are days when I am good being on my own and not going out ; I know I’m not going to my friends everyday but sometimes I want to have a friend call me and say lets get together but it doesn’t happen.  It doesn’t normally get to me but lately it has been.   I am grateful for everything I have and my friendships, but I do get lonely because I wish I could go out see friends who I don’t see very much I want to do more.

Good to know.

As you know;  I am working on becoming a online mentor,  I want to help in different topics including disabilities,  depressed and bipolar depression.   I am disabled , people can see my difference and I can explain why I am the way I am but it still hard for people to us my CP.  But the two other differences I want to help in or just be a support in depression and bipolar; you don’t see if someone is dealing with it. I can understand that whoever has either of bipolar or depression;  first it is the easy to tell someone second you feel different and from my experience people don’t see differences even though we all are different!   But if you have a differences you can face loneliness and much more hard things than your difference,  I get it all the time I may not be a doctor,  but I understand what it’s like to a name called just because of something I can’t help.    But back to bipolar;  this is what it is ‘’ What Are the Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder?

In bipolar disorder, the dramatic episodes of high and low moods do not follow a set pattern. Someone may feel the same mood state (depressed or manic) several times before switching to the opposite mood. These episodes can happen over a period of weeks, months, and sometimes even years.How severe it gets differs from person to person and can also change over time, becoming more or less severe. Symptoms of mania (“the highs”):

  • Excessive happiness, hopefulness, and excitement
  • Sudden changes from being joyful to being irritable, angry, and hostile
  • Restlessness
  • Rapid speech and poor concentration
  • Increased energy and less need for sleep
  • Unusually high sex drive
  • Making grand and unrealistic plans
  • Showing poor judgment
  • Drug and alcohol abuse
  • Becoming more impulsive

During depressive periods (“the lows”), a person with bipolar disorder may have:

Here is an over view of bipolar depression, I know I couldn’t fix this or depression, but if we start learning about it, I might be able to help someone with either depression and or bipolar diseases.

Why mentoring?

Nowadays it seems like we don’t know how to encourage people or be a friend and not expecting anything in return.  I like to be a little like that, I can see passed people who are hurting but they don’t think they are good enough.  But why?   Why do we think that being different in not ok, when we all are different if you ask me; I love it.   Knowing that someone might read my words and get one minute of place it is why I want to do mentoring.

It’s spring time an great season to grow within yourself.   I know this can be hard,  you have to want the rest comes with time and hard work.  I know I know that I want to learn and grow in some things in my life, such as writing, in my business and so much more than I think would help me become better at helping others.   What do you want to grow in?

This year I am working on having a job making my own career so that I can know what is it like to have money for me and have something that I can do!

I have Cerebral palsy the crazy kind I like to tell people!  I’m always moving and not because I want to, its uncontrollable yeah I make fun of myself half the time!   I am hard to understand, I like to think I don’t give up easily,  its can get hard but I have to keep going because I know I have the best support team batting with me!   I live on my own but I have a roommate and caregivers that came and go through the day.   Like anyone my age I am in the place in my life, I’m still trying to fugue out what I want to do with my life but I know CP  is not keeping me down!   Cp day is March 25th.

Have you ever imagined your life different?  If you are in a wheelchair; you will understand this more.   I am in a wheelchair and need help getting out of the chair; I am on my own half of the day.   Nominally its ok; I can get my work done or just have some time to myself but what happens if I need to go,,,, or if I need to get out of my chair; I cannot!   I could probably find a way but I can’t go P on my own, that is the only thing about being home alone that sucks!   I was talking to a friend about how I could not imagine how if I could walk and just go wherever I wanted to, I could not see myself as an able-body!  I guess because my CP has always been a part of me, it would be weird to think about me walking!   Its just me, not saying that I am just cp but it is the only thing I know.   Having people help me though my day though life!

‘’Acceptance is the road to all change. If resisting has failed and frustrated you, try to accept what is. As hard as it is to believe, acceptance can open different opportunities for change than resistance. Struggling can sometimes swallow us even deeper into the quicksand of our problems. Difficult problems take time to resolve. The more frantically you pick at knots, the more entangled they can become. To untangle yourself try relaxing. Gently and patiently work with your difficulties and in time you will be freed from what now seems impossible. You are being called to heal yourself, not to agonize over your mistakes. Quit overthinking; this is what surrendering really means. Don’t focus on your problems and don’t obsess about “fixing” things. Avoid forcing “positive thinking.” These thoughts can be psychological irritants. Just leave yourself alone! When you pick at things, they never heal. Simply relax and give yourself some time.— Bryant McGill’’ Change is necessary but it can also be hard.   How do you cope with changes in your life?  Or what helps you?  We sometimes think that asking for help, someone to be with you; many make others think you weak but really we all need help sometimes!   Love is the most important thing we can give someone!

Life does not always make sense,  we’re happy going through life without a worry than the next thing you know;  you feel alone or more different than ever.   And finding a way through the darkness can be the hardest thing.   I am happy person most of the time I do have my times.   But I can understand that there are so many things that could put you down.  I know that nowadays we are so worried about what others think of us to where it can really affect us, but guess what you should love yourself most of all!  Its not easy but you should come first before anyone!   You’re amazing loved special!

Life gets busy the days can seem so short when you are busy.   I’m getting ready to host Ms.  Wheelchair Colorado this Saturday though I love it it’s a lot of work.   Let’s just says it’s hard work but it’s rewarding.  From being a constant 7years ago; and I still think how could I be Ms.  Wheelchair Colorado 2010, thinking back on that your it was probably the best year in the way it helped me to understand that my wheelchair is just a way for me to get around!   I already knew that,  from my family and friends but that year helped!   Seeing others with the same challenges as you, and just learning from them made me want to do more and not just be taken care of.   I could make differences I would have to work for it but after being around women in wheelchairs was what I needed!   The Ms. Wheelchair organization is not about how you look but what you do!   I love that so much a pageant like that doesn’t exist; not only that but having people like you is very helpful.   This is why each year I want to give more women the same opportunity.

Cp month

March is cp awareness month, my idea is instead of an awareness month that promotes treatment and cures why don’t we have a cp pride month that encourages people who have to be proud of cp to be proud of who they are and cerebrates are uniqueness.

Sadness how do you get through it?   We all go through depression or if you don’t want to call it that because there is so much negative ideas about around depression that if you have it;  you don’t want to say it.   When you know if people knew maybe if they knew it wouldn’t be so hard but nobody understands that depression is an sickness.   But they don’t know how to help;  when really you could use love and understanding.

I am someone who knows what it feels like to be the odd one the different kind of person; or the person who’s their disability makes others see you one way but to my disability is not that bad. I am more than what others see at first; I love more than anything else making a difference in someone else’s life but if you talk to me you may not be able to understand me.   I have always looked at the things I couldn’t do and found a way to do them.  Never say I can’t!  I have done a lot which people thought I couldn’t do and I still keep going like I don’t care about what others think!   I have had a lot of people who have been there for me and also people who wouldn’t mind seeing me not do anything.   But they helped me to want to show them otherwise!   I have worked with children who are disabled,  I have been a baby-sitter.  I have always am ready to do things for others.  I wanted to be a psychologist to be there and help others;  because knowing that there are people hunting or wanting to end their lives because they fell alone and depressed, it’s just make think how much I can do.   I might not make a huge difference but maybe I can help one person.  It’s not about what I get out of it but being a difference for someone else!   There is so much sadness and hurt that war fighting every day is all we hear; not support or love.   Love and support is what L is 4 Love: Z’s Mentoring Services will be about, disabilities, depression and others differences because that is where my heart is.

People and time can change.    But true friendship, family love does not no matter what you do!  Money, things are important but only if you have love and know who you are!   Do you love yourself? Or did other people make you not?  People think differently is weird looking it’s not right, but guess what everyone is different and I think it’s amazing!   Just as a sown fake they are all so different even if we can’t tell.  Why are we so worried about standing out when we know it’s better!   I still a times where I don’t like my CP;  because I get the weird looks as if I was a child, and I have to work harder to show people that it is just a physical disability!   But I do anything like you!  This is why I love to write and help others who are different and don’t think they are worth it.  Being different is awesome!

You

Somethings you can’t get through without love!

May be your life is going on a hard road

Maybe you’re in a dark place where you don’t want to feel loved or worth it,

Someone who loves the way you are.

You think about all you are going through

Maybe no one wants to go through it with.   You are wrong!   You are so worth more than you think!
Times when you don’t think that love is there,  it is!
you are so worth so much more!   There is only one you!

Loving each other is the greatest gift!   I could not tell you anything else but not everyone feels that way these days.   These days you hear about war, fighting, and people who are alone; there are so many things that if you are hurting you don’t want to give love.   There is so much hurt in our days now that it’s all we hear; not about what gong good.   To me it’s not right,  I know I have my days where I get upset towards things I know that are going to help if I get mad at it, like it would make a difference if I get mad.  Than realizing that didn’t help also it’s not what I am, but wanting to be heard it just happens!  Thinking about the feelings when I get like that just because I have something to say and I feel like I can’t,  I know we all have things that hurt us may be more than we realize;  maybe we have pushed the hurt down to where we have forgotten that it is still effecting you.  I don’t know if that’s why we do love like we could why we feel that hurting others will help.   I want to make a difference in others lives but I still get upset at things I shouldn’t!

Having a physical disability but just physical can be hard there is so many thoughts that people who see somebody like me.   I am not saying that any kind of disability is not hard but for me in what I have done and what I see most of the time it’s not easy.  My CP is just physical but others who don’t know me think it’s more,  and that so gets to me every time,  even though I know it’s coming!     Do you feel like that?   I think even if you don’t have a disability you can get that.  So how do you not let it got to you?   Love you are first,  knowing that there are people who need you, who love you for you! Tried to not let them put you down isn’t easy without knowing you have a family and friends who don’t judge you.

How do we find hope or find the way out of the darkness?  Do you feel as if you can’t get to a happy place?  Let out how you are feeling maybe to family or someone close, even just write about the feelings you have maybe just that will help.   Looking in yourself may do more than what you think it could.   Writing everything down could help you to not let what others tell you to bring you down.  Knowing that you can get everything out and no one will see until you can ready.

Do you believe in angels?   Do you see it in in others?   Maybe it’s crazy be I think that they are around us in the times we really need something to go good.   Look around you will see them!

February is my favorite mouth because it’s all about love which is my word.  The best feeling, the most important thing that we can give and get!  And maybe even hard to give sometimes but so wroth it!   It’s the one reason I do this; helping others.  I have had a few hard things had this week and I kind of took it all harder than I normally would have, it just means for a little while I have to do things differently.  At first I was not happy or acting like I would; I wanted it fixed right then, just as if I couldn’t life without that one thing but now as I look at the way I acted I feel so selfish!   I have otter ways in which I can talk to others, I didn’t need to act that way;  mostly it was because I didn’t think it send love though text to people who I always am there for.   I wasn’t thinking about the other things that can help me do that!  Yes it makes my life easier but really I can do without for a few days there are more important things I cannot live without like giving love to others.

The sunlight can be amazing, it brings us joy.  In more ways than we know.   That person who is always there, your family, your pets making you laughs when you see them pay.   Maybe you can’t see it right now there is too much hurt; don’t give in let someone in.  Maybe they can help or just help you find a way to dance again!

Childhood with a difference can be hard on everyone. Not because it’s the child but because there is so much people think they need more than a normal child.   I am saying that some child who are disabled nothing more but every disability is so different in more ways than people think; trying to group all disabled children into the same class doesn’t seem right to me.  I think there could be a other way to see it a child can or needs more help.  Some people who have disabilities could do more than people think. It may be a little different but they can, just learn them and go from there!

When you can’t help someone you love with all your heart is can be the hardcore things.   But you know just loving them is what they need more than anything else.   Its still makes you want to do more but really love fixes everything.

Having a physical disability is that big of a deal I think.   It a difference in the way people think; to me any kind of a difference is a disability but for most people a disability is different than something small that they may have.   It is not a disability; where do you get that idea from? We place people with visible differences into one group but it shouldn’t be we together because we’re all different!  I want to change the word to be the new normal!

Love is the best thing on earth.   I don’t want or need any other gifts even.   That is my happiness love and sharing it.    I know it may not help everything but for me yes it does.  My mission to help those who are feeling alone and hurting.

What do you think of when you think of disability?  There are several different ideas about what people with disabilities but mostly it’s what you cannot do, its not because they don’t care they just don’t know any different.     Having a wheelchair and getting that look of oww sorry about that you’re in a wheelchair or baby talk like I don’t understand.   Every time I meet someone new, I am still not used to it.  Its me, I can do anything and no I am not a kid just because I don’t walk.  It like I have to walk to think!   I have a lot that I can do just in a different way.   It happens all the time and I want to change that view.   I will!

Think about what you can do daily to keep yourself happy?  Its music!   I have to have music on whatever I do.  Its first thing to get my day going, there some things that we do daily that makes life easier for me its music!   I love hearing a song that remains me of someone or may me want to dance around like crazy because no one is watching!   What is your one thing that gets you happy?   Do you write in a journal that also can help some.

true happiness

Each day do you wake up joyfully?   It’s not always easy but I like to think I do.   I know I don’t; but being happy is not about having everything you want I think.  I think happiness comes from love!   Knowing that you have people in your life that do not care when you call them or how you look, act or anything else about you.   They love and care for you; that is what I think happiness is.  It is not everything else that we think of when want to be happy, it’s looking inside yourself and knowing that you are loved for you!   What brings you joy?   What could you do if you don’t see joy daily?  Because joy is everywhere you just have to see it in the little things and know how you are loved!

From someone I look up to.

This is from a very dear friend.   ‘’ Zara, has always been very thoughtful towards me. She cares about all of my feelings. When I was in need, as a Mom, she helped me take care of my kids so that I could do other things. They loved her and remember those times, to this day. I enjoy texting her everyday. She brings me joy.”

What makes you happy?   Do you have a dream that you don’t think can come true?  I can tell you stop putting yourself down!  Its hard not to; because others judge you not on what you can do but your differences.  Learning to be ok with yourself sometimes, but it is the best way to make yourself happy.

I just saw a post about breaking the silence towards mental illness and I couldn’t agree with that more!   I don’t deal with depression or mental illness but I know people who have and I want to be a person could may be change the way we think about it; just like I want to do for the disability community.   Because I don’t like the way its looked at.   In a way it is like saying to me; why don’t you walk?  Its not something people can help; maybe something happened that left a bad impact on them, or it just is.  I know there is much more that is a mental illness I’m still learning but this important to me.  I don’t think depression well enough supported; maybe I can’t do much but I will try to.
.

What is a friend who is always there?  An angel I think.

Life can be hand crazy and as time moves on,  we sometimes can loss contract with the ones that made us feel like we matter; when we needed the most.   They never forgot even if we did.   Then we get them back as if they were always been right there.   That is an angel.

Ms. Wheelchair Colorado

One of my other things I am involved with is an organization that helps woman in wheelchairs feel empowered.  “The mission of Ms. Wheelchair America is to provide an opportunity of achievement for women who happen to be wheelchair users to successfully educate and advocate for the more than 54 million Americans living with disabilities. Unlike traditional beauty pageants, Ms. Wheelchair America is not a contest to select the most attractive individual. It is instead a competition based on advocacy, achievement, communication and presentation to select the most accomplished and articulate spokeswoman for persons with disabilities. The selected representative must be able to communicate both the needs and the accomplishments of her constituency to the general public, the business community and the legislature.’’.   I was honored to be Ms.  Wheelchair Colorado 2010 and I still cannot believe the judges choose me.  But anyway now I run it in Colorado and I get to give other woman in wheelchairs the same experience and may be change their life; because I know it did for me.   Ms. Wheelchair American is not about how you look but more about what you do with your disability and your community.   I loved everything about my year, this group is not something you do once and then you forget about it;  no it is people who can understand what it is like to be in a wheelchair and still want to have a life.   Friends that I still talk to!  Each March Ms. Wheelchair Colorado has a pageant to find a new Ms.   Wheelchair, if you know anyone who is interested please let me know!

Finding joy, hope and love in everything!   Many of you know my story and that I have cerebral Palsy I have a kind which is not that common.   I have been able to do almost everything that the doctors thought I wouldn’t;  they thought I just be able to lay basically but I have people who have pushed me to where now I’m pushing myself.   To living on my own and starting up my own business with the help of friends.  All that to say I know what is to stand out and mostly in high school I didn’t know what I would become; the thing I wanted to do I knew I couldn’t it but then I began to writing and it gave me the opportunity to do something I have always wanted to.  Just in a different way;  I am saying that being hopefully may be might get you to what you are mean to do with your life.

What is the best love?   To feel it or give it? I am wondered about this;  how could you show somebody just how much you love them?    When most of lifes is spent at work, making sure we can get everything we need to be happy but really what is needed most;  is the thing we do when everything else is ok.  Show somebody what they mean to us.   I think that is why so much hurt;  yes we need to money.   But we need each other more! I love deeply as I want to make others understand that love is so needed.

Life is hard sometimes especially when you have a difference but don’t we all?  As I think about my blog and why I want to do this,  its because more people look at differences as something that we should be scared of just as if it can go away but really it can’t!   It is why we have each other to left up with other.   But we don’t when we don’t understand what the other person is going through, this is why I am wanting mentor and because of a coach because hiding who you are is not living in the best way.   Like I said before I am not a Dr but I understand being different and feeling lonely because of something I have,  cp.  It’s hard I get it.   If you have depression I want to help it would be in a different way;   but it is one of the difference I want to have a difference in!   I am still starting this but I can tell you this; I love helping people.

Over 16million people in the US have depression, which that number could be more; because there are many people who don’t want to say they have depression.  Why?  I wonder why could someone not tell anybody; oh yeah I know because people judge and think that you are making up illness, just to get love!   What the hell!   I’m still learning about depression, because I know how it seen.   Hid it not going to help the person who deals with it,  no it’s the other way I think, having someone who can listen and maybe give their ideas that could make a difference in their life or even just to a friend.   That is my goal for this business is to be a support when you need to be heard a mentor.  If you are interested you can email me or if you are on facebook me.

This week coming up my dance team is going to Vegas to try out for America’s got talent! My dance group is made of all different kind of disabilities; the founder is my friend and caregiver also a great dancer!   She wanted to find a way that people with disabilities to get movement and became an every week class named Dancing with Friends!   We all love dancing;  it’s so much fun; now we’re going to do big.   America’s got talent, I’m so excited for a week of lot of dancing and fun.

I am so excited there is so much that I am excited about; I have been telling you that I am going to start offering to be a mentor; I can now say I am open for business!   You should know a few things about how this will work. First I am disabled so it will take me longer to write to you; I have to use another program for writing it’s helps my writing; second my time with you will be $10 , I am a doctor or anything like that.  But I know what’s its like to be different, left out because other’s don’t understand disabilities.   I have been there many times; it’s not fun having to explain why you are the way you are,  when everyone was some sort of difference.  I’m about love.   This has been my dream ever since I was a child.   I may not be expected but I have an open heart and love to make a difference or even just put some sun in your life.
If you are on facebook we can chat through there or you can email me at varugeslifelove6@gmail.com.
Thanks for your support!

Yesterday I wrote about how if you have a disability you are basically can’t get a job.   There’s a lot that could mess up your benefices that the government gives you.  If you’re disability is physical only you can understand that the idea of working is not that early to do not you cannot work but because the help you have to every day could be taken from you.   So we end up creating new ways to have a normal life, or not trying!   I don’t know about you guys, but it seems wrong.   People with disabilities should not feel like they can’t work or own a house because of the government.   I know many people who are the same problem I am;  how do we live on the money we get from the government it’s hardly eat for anyone to live on, especially if you have a home or just starting to live independently and having a few pay mouthy payments you cannot make it.  So coming up with others to make everything work is hard to where we have to make do.    All through its helps us, it’s all makes us not trying to better ourselves.   Not to want to be able to be independent, get a job or have a life.   The government wants to help the disabled people but I would like to see something that would let us want to get a normal life.

Are you disabled and wanting to work or be independent?  Do you need the services for the government?  You want to have a full time job to be able to have a home just as everyone else.   But you can’t; because if you have a job earning some extra money,  the government will take away the services  you need such as home care.  For someone like me who needs aids daily and other services I want to get a job but I can’t!  It can be announcing because I know I have to have help from the government but I also want to do more with my life than just hanging around.   I think that there should be a way to have some kind of job but still get what you need.  If you are in the same boat I am; what do you think?

I am so excited today I got my business signed up with the state of Colorado it’s a small step to my dream!   I am not ready for business just yet but I will be soon!  I want to tell you all; if you have felt different or like an outcast don’t let them tell you,  you cannot do something.   You are you for a reason; you’re beautiful/needed to make a difference in some way!

The best time of the year; thanksgiving and Christmas the time to be with loved ones and give! But not just things but also love and to give back. It’s the best time right? For most yes, but for me it’s just a little harder not because I don’t like Christmas.  My family is so far away I don’t get to spend time with them and feel too.  But as I start getting ready for the holidays its not that bad.  I am actually excited for the New Year and making new goals for myself!   As we all try to keep to the goals but somehow things get in the way or we think we can’t do it.  To better our lives we should work on goals and help each other with them.   My goal for the New Year is to get my business going.   I think I can do it; there is still a lot to learn.   But I want this bad enough that I know I won’t give up!

I would like to try something, I want to offer to a mentor to my follows.  Just so I can start building my experience I really want to be able to help others, I also have hard times and I know what it’s like to be lonely or miss-understood.  Thank you

What is Love to you?   When do you feel loved the most?  Life is so busy with other things that do not make us as happy as Love can!  Sometimes it is easy to want students to make you happy but it doesn’t last like knowing that you are loved.   You, there is no one like you!   Nothing could be you; so don’t know that.   Someone who loves you, has the best gift of all YOU!   So forget what others tell you because they are wrong!

Love, dancing through life I like to see my life!  I don’t always but I would like to think I can be in a place in my life where I can say that I have everything together lol; I don’t.  I have to learn so much still about life coaching or mentoring others; I keep on putting it off to do more studding into the things that would help me get there but I doubt myself like we do sometimes.   This idea keeps on coming back to my heart so that I know it is my calling in life!   So I think I have to go for it and see what happens.

I want these next few mouths to be about giving back; I feel it more this year; I am not how or why but for me it’s better to give than to get.  I am going to go something!  Maybe it will be just on through writing on my blog. Going into the Christmas season and knowing how many people are hurting or getting by; I know I’m so lucky to have great support system that I can live on my own;  I am disabled and I need help with everyone just about;  but I can live on my own,  I have my sad days but I am happy. I want to give back !

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