I am someone who knows what it feels like to be the odd one the different kind of person; or the person who’s their disability makes others see you one way but to my disability is not that bad. I am more than what others see at first; I love more than anything else making a difference in someone else’s life but if you talk to me you may not be able to understand me.   I have always looked at the things I couldn’t do and found a way to do them.  Never say I can’t!  I have done a lot which people thought I couldn’t do and I still keep going like I don’t care about what others think!   I have had a lot of people who have been there for me and also people who wouldn’t mind seeing me not do anything.   But they helped me to want to show them otherwise!   I have worked with children who are disabled,  I have been a baby-sitter.  I have always am ready to do things for others.  I wanted to be a psychologist to be there and help others;  because knowing that there are people hunting or wanting to end their lives because they fell alone and depressed, it’s just make think how much I can do.   I might not make a huge difference but maybe I can help one person.  It’s not about what I get out of it but being a difference for someone else!   There is so much sadness and hurt that war fighting every day is all we hear; not support or love.   Love and support is what L is 4 Love: Z’s Mentoring Services will be about, disabilities, depression and others differences because that is where my heart is.

People and time can change.    But true friendship, family love does not no matter what you do!  Money, things are important but only if you have love and know who you are!   Do you love yourself? Or did other people make you not?  People think differently is weird looking it’s not right, but guess what everyone is different and I think it’s amazing!   Just as a sown fake they are all so different even if we can’t tell.  Why are we so worried about standing out when we know it’s better!   I still a times where I don’t like my CP;  because I get the weird looks as if I was a child, and I have to work harder to show people that it is just a physical disability!   But I do anything like you!  This is why I love to write and help others who are different and don’t think they are worth it.  Being different is awesome!

You

Somethings you can’t get through without love!

May be your life is going on a hard road

Maybe you’re in a dark place where you don’t want to feel loved or worth it,

Someone who loves the way you are.

You think about all you are going through

Maybe no one wants to go through it with.   You are wrong!   You are so worth more than you think!
Times when you don’t think that love is there,  it is!
you are so worth so much more!   There is only one you!

Loving each other is the greatest gift!   I could not tell you anything else but not everyone feels that way these days.   These days you hear about war, fighting, and people who are alone; there are so many things that if you are hurting you don’t want to give love.   There is so much hurt in our days now that it’s all we hear; not about what gong good.   To me it’s not right,  I know I have my days where I get upset towards things I know that are going to help if I get mad at it, like it would make a difference if I get mad.  Than realizing that didn’t help also it’s not what I am, but wanting to be heard it just happens!  Thinking about the feelings when I get like that just because I have something to say and I feel like I can’t,  I know we all have things that hurt us may be more than we realize;  maybe we have pushed the hurt down to where we have forgotten that it is still effecting you.  I don’t know if that’s why we do love like we could why we feel that hurting others will help.   I want to make a difference in others lives but I still get upset at things I shouldn’t!

Having a physical disability but just physical can be hard there is so many thoughts that people who see somebody like me.   I am not saying that any kind of disability is not hard but for me in what I have done and what I see most of the time it’s not easy.  My CP is just physical but others who don’t know me think it’s more,  and that so gets to me every time,  even though I know it’s coming!     Do you feel like that?   I think even if you don’t have a disability you can get that.  So how do you not let it got to you?   Love you are first,  knowing that there are people who need you, who love you for you! Tried to not let them put you down isn’t easy without knowing you have a family and friends who don’t judge you.

How do we find hope or find the way out of the darkness?  Do you feel as if you can’t get to a happy place?  Let out how you are feeling maybe to family or someone close, even just write about the feelings you have maybe just that will help.   Looking in yourself may do more than what you think it could.   Writing everything down could help you to not let what others tell you to bring you down.  Knowing that you can get everything out and no one will see until you can ready.

Do you believe in angels?   Do you see it in in others?   Maybe it’s crazy be I think that they are around us in the times we really need something to go good.   Look around you will see them!

February is my favorite mouth because it’s all about love which is my word.  The best feeling, the most important thing that we can give and get!  And maybe even hard to give sometimes but so wroth it!   It’s the one reason I do this; helping others.  I have had a few hard things had this week and I kind of took it all harder than I normally would have, it just means for a little while I have to do things differently.  At first I was not happy or acting like I would; I wanted it fixed right then, just as if I couldn’t life without that one thing but now as I look at the way I acted I feel so selfish!   I have otter ways in which I can talk to others, I didn’t need to act that way;  mostly it was because I didn’t think it send love though text to people who I always am there for.   I wasn’t thinking about the other things that can help me do that!  Yes it makes my life easier but really I can do without for a few days there are more important things I cannot live without like giving love to others.

The sunlight can be amazing, it brings us joy.  In more ways than we know.   That person who is always there, your family, your pets making you laughs when you see them pay.   Maybe you can’t see it right now there is too much hurt; don’t give in let someone in.  Maybe they can help or just help you find a way to dance again!

Childhood with a difference can be hard on everyone. Not because it’s the child but because there is so much people think they need more than a normal child.   I am saying that some child who are disabled nothing more but every disability is so different in more ways than people think; trying to group all disabled children into the same class doesn’t seem right to me.  I think there could be a other way to see it a child can or needs more help.  Some people who have disabilities could do more than people think. It may be a little different but they can, just learn them and go from there!

When you can’t help someone you love with all your heart is can be the hardcore things.   But you know just loving them is what they need more than anything else.   Its still makes you want to do more but really love fixes everything.

Having a physical disability is that big of a deal I think.   It a difference in the way people think; to me any kind of a difference is a disability but for most people a disability is different than something small that they may have.   It is not a disability; where do you get that idea from? We place people with visible differences into one group but it shouldn’t be we together because we’re all different!  I want to change the word to be the new normal!

Love is the best thing on earth.   I don’t want or need any other gifts even.   That is my happiness love and sharing it.    I know it may not help everything but for me yes it does.  My mission to help those who are feeling alone and hurting.

What do you think of when you think of disability?  There are several different ideas about what people with disabilities but mostly it’s what you cannot do, its not because they don’t care they just don’t know any different.     Having a wheelchair and getting that look of oww sorry about that you’re in a wheelchair or baby talk like I don’t understand.   Every time I meet someone new, I am still not used to it.  Its me, I can do anything and no I am not a kid just because I don’t walk.  It like I have to walk to think!   I have a lot that I can do just in a different way.   It happens all the time and I want to change that view.   I will!

Think about what you can do daily to keep yourself happy?  Its music!   I have to have music on whatever I do.  Its first thing to get my day going, there some things that we do daily that makes life easier for me its music!   I love hearing a song that remains me of someone or may me want to dance around like crazy because no one is watching!   What is your one thing that gets you happy?   Do you write in a journal that also can help some.

true happiness

Each day do you wake up joyfully?   It’s not always easy but I like to think I do.   I know I don’t; but being happy is not about having everything you want I think.  I think happiness comes from love!   Knowing that you have people in your life that do not care when you call them or how you look, act or anything else about you.   They love and care for you; that is what I think happiness is.  It is not everything else that we think of when want to be happy, it’s looking inside yourself and knowing that you are loved for you!   What brings you joy?   What could you do if you don’t see joy daily?  Because joy is everywhere you just have to see it in the little things and know how you are loved!

From someone I look up to.

This is from a very dear friend.   ‘’ Zara, has always been very thoughtful towards me. She cares about all of my feelings. When I was in need, as a Mom, she helped me take care of my kids so that I could do other things. They loved her and remember those times, to this day. I enjoy texting her everyday. She brings me joy.”

What makes you happy?   Do you have a dream that you don’t think can come true?  I can tell you stop putting yourself down!  Its hard not to; because others judge you not on what you can do but your differences.  Learning to be ok with yourself sometimes, but it is the best way to make yourself happy.

I just saw a post about breaking the silence towards mental illness and I couldn’t agree with that more!   I don’t deal with depression or mental illness but I know people who have and I want to be a person could may be change the way we think about it; just like I want to do for the disability community.   Because I don’t like the way its looked at.   In a way it is like saying to me; why don’t you walk?  Its not something people can help; maybe something happened that left a bad impact on them, or it just is.  I know there is much more that is a mental illness I’m still learning but this important to me.  I don’t think depression well enough supported; maybe I can’t do much but I will try to.
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What is a friend who is always there?  An angel I think.

Life can be hand crazy and as time moves on,  we sometimes can loss contract with the ones that made us feel like we matter; when we needed the most.   They never forgot even if we did.   Then we get them back as if they were always been right there.   That is an angel.

Ms. Wheelchair Colorado

One of my other things I am involved with is an organization that helps woman in wheelchairs feel empowered.  “The mission of Ms. Wheelchair America is to provide an opportunity of achievement for women who happen to be wheelchair users to successfully educate and advocate for the more than 54 million Americans living with disabilities. Unlike traditional beauty pageants, Ms. Wheelchair America is not a contest to select the most attractive individual. It is instead a competition based on advocacy, achievement, communication and presentation to select the most accomplished and articulate spokeswoman for persons with disabilities. The selected representative must be able to communicate both the needs and the accomplishments of her constituency to the general public, the business community and the legislature.’’.   I was honored to be Ms.  Wheelchair Colorado 2010 and I still cannot believe the judges choose me.  But anyway now I run it in Colorado and I get to give other woman in wheelchairs the same experience and may be change their life; because I know it did for me.   Ms. Wheelchair American is not about how you look but more about what you do with your disability and your community.   I loved everything about my year, this group is not something you do once and then you forget about it;  no it is people who can understand what it is like to be in a wheelchair and still want to have a life.   Friends that I still talk to!  Each March Ms. Wheelchair Colorado has a pageant to find a new Ms.   Wheelchair, if you know anyone who is interested please let me know!

Finding joy, hope and love in everything!   Many of you know my story and that I have cerebral Palsy I have a kind which is not that common.   I have been able to do almost everything that the doctors thought I wouldn’t;  they thought I just be able to lay basically but I have people who have pushed me to where now I’m pushing myself.   To living on my own and starting up my own business with the help of friends.  All that to say I know what is to stand out and mostly in high school I didn’t know what I would become; the thing I wanted to do I knew I couldn’t it but then I began to writing and it gave me the opportunity to do something I have always wanted to.  Just in a different way;  I am saying that being hopefully may be might get you to what you are mean to do with your life.

What is the best love?   To feel it or give it? I am wondered about this;  how could you show somebody just how much you love them?    When most of lifes is spent at work, making sure we can get everything we need to be happy but really what is needed most;  is the thing we do when everything else is ok.  Show somebody what they mean to us.   I think that is why so much hurt;  yes we need to money.   But we need each other more! I love deeply as I want to make others understand that love is so needed.

Life is hard sometimes especially when you have a difference but don’t we all?  As I think about my blog and why I want to do this,  its because more people look at differences as something that we should be scared of just as if it can go away but really it can’t!   It is why we have each other to left up with other.   But we don’t when we don’t understand what the other person is going through, this is why I am wanting mentor and because of a coach because hiding who you are is not living in the best way.   Like I said before I am not a Dr but I understand being different and feeling lonely because of something I have,  cp.  It’s hard I get it.   If you have depression I want to help it would be in a different way;   but it is one of the difference I want to have a difference in!   I am still starting this but I can tell you this; I love helping people.

Over 16million people in the US have depression, which that number could be more; because there are many people who don’t want to say they have depression.  Why?  I wonder why could someone not tell anybody; oh yeah I know because people judge and think that you are making up illness, just to get love!   What the hell!   I’m still learning about depression, because I know how it seen.   Hid it not going to help the person who deals with it,  no it’s the other way I think, having someone who can listen and maybe give their ideas that could make a difference in their life or even just to a friend.   That is my goal for this business is to be a support when you need to be heard a mentor.  If you are interested you can email me or if you are on facebook me.

This week coming up my dance team is going to Vegas to try out for America’s got talent! My dance group is made of all different kind of disabilities; the founder is my friend and caregiver also a great dancer!   She wanted to find a way that people with disabilities to get movement and became an every week class named Dancing with Friends!   We all love dancing;  it’s so much fun; now we’re going to do big.   America’s got talent, I’m so excited for a week of lot of dancing and fun.

I am so excited there is so much that I am excited about; I have been telling you that I am going to start offering to be a mentor; I can now say I am open for business!   You should know a few things about how this will work. First I am disabled so it will take me longer to write to you; I have to use another program for writing it’s helps my writing; second my time with you will be $10 , I am a doctor or anything like that.  But I know what’s its like to be different, left out because other’s don’t understand disabilities.   I have been there many times; it’s not fun having to explain why you are the way you are,  when everyone was some sort of difference.  I’m about love.   This has been my dream ever since I was a child.   I may not be expected but I have an open heart and love to make a difference or even just put some sun in your life.
If you are on facebook we can chat through there or you can email me at varugeslifelove6@gmail.com.
Thanks for your support!

Yesterday I wrote about how if you have a disability you are basically can’t get a job.   There’s a lot that could mess up your benefices that the government gives you.  If you’re disability is physical only you can understand that the idea of working is not that early to do not you cannot work but because the help you have to every day could be taken from you.   So we end up creating new ways to have a normal life, or not trying!   I don’t know about you guys, but it seems wrong.   People with disabilities should not feel like they can’t work or own a house because of the government.   I know many people who are the same problem I am;  how do we live on the money we get from the government it’s hardly eat for anyone to live on, especially if you have a home or just starting to live independently and having a few pay mouthy payments you cannot make it.  So coming up with others to make everything work is hard to where we have to make do.    All through its helps us, it’s all makes us not trying to better ourselves.   Not to want to be able to be independent, get a job or have a life.   The government wants to help the disabled people but I would like to see something that would let us want to get a normal life.

Are you disabled and wanting to work or be independent?  Do you need the services for the government?  You want to have a full time job to be able to have a home just as everyone else.   But you can’t; because if you have a job earning some extra money,  the government will take away the services  you need such as home care.  For someone like me who needs aids daily and other services I want to get a job but I can’t!  It can be announcing because I know I have to have help from the government but I also want to do more with my life than just hanging around.   I think that there should be a way to have some kind of job but still get what you need.  If you are in the same boat I am; what do you think?

I am so excited today I got my business signed up with the state of Colorado it’s a small step to my dream!   I am not ready for business just yet but I will be soon!  I want to tell you all; if you have felt different or like an outcast don’t let them tell you,  you cannot do something.   You are you for a reason; you’re beautiful/needed to make a difference in some way!

The best time of the year; thanksgiving and Christmas the time to be with loved ones and give! But not just things but also love and to give back. It’s the best time right? For most yes, but for me it’s just a little harder not because I don’t like Christmas.  My family is so far away I don’t get to spend time with them and feel too.  But as I start getting ready for the holidays its not that bad.  I am actually excited for the New Year and making new goals for myself!   As we all try to keep to the goals but somehow things get in the way or we think we can’t do it.  To better our lives we should work on goals and help each other with them.   My goal for the New Year is to get my business going.   I think I can do it; there is still a lot to learn.   But I want this bad enough that I know I won’t give up!

I would like to try something, I want to offer to a mentor to my follows.  Just so I can start building my experience I really want to be able to help others, I also have hard times and I know what it’s like to be lonely or miss-understood.  Thank you

What is Love to you?   When do you feel loved the most?  Life is so busy with other things that do not make us as happy as Love can!  Sometimes it is easy to want students to make you happy but it doesn’t last like knowing that you are loved.   You, there is no one like you!   Nothing could be you; so don’t know that.   Someone who loves you, has the best gift of all YOU!   So forget what others tell you because they are wrong!

Love, dancing through life I like to see my life!  I don’t always but I would like to think I can be in a place in my life where I can say that I have everything together lol; I don’t.  I have to learn so much still about life coaching or mentoring others; I keep on putting it off to do more studding into the things that would help me get there but I doubt myself like we do sometimes.   This idea keeps on coming back to my heart so that I know it is my calling in life!   So I think I have to go for it and see what happens.

I want these next few mouths to be about giving back; I feel it more this year; I am not how or why but for me it’s better to give than to get.  I am going to go something!  Maybe it will be just on through writing on my blog. Going into the Christmas season and knowing how many people are hurting or getting by; I know I’m so lucky to have great support system that I can live on my own;  I am disabled and I need help with everyone just about;  but I can live on my own,  I have my sad days but I am happy. I want to give back !

The day before Thanksgiving and not doing a good job at writing daily about what I am thankful for after not feeling good a few days of not doing I want to say thanks for my health; I get headaches a lot I am not sure why sometimes.  I think sometimes I get so tight that it doesn’t help, there could be a lot of different that could be giving me headaches; waking up and feeling sick is the worst thing you have a lot of to do but you cannot do because it hurts and it could last days not fun.   Other than my down headaches days I am pretty healthy and happy. I know my blog has a long way to go; so I can make some money from something that I love doing which is writing and helping others; I am happy and thankful that I have so many followers on the blog and on the facebook page so thank you who-ever is following me.  It means a lot!  I just started writing to keep busy but now I have a feeling that one day I can have my online community to help others I am so thankful!

 

It’s the week of thanksgiving and I officially am bad at trying to write something I’m thankful for each day; its because I’m not thankful for I am.  But I don’t know why I can’t think of something different for each day.   For me it’s people that I am most thankful for,  the times I get with them is the best.   People,  love, is what really matters to me!

Day15

Today I’m thankful for love!  I know it has different meanings to everyone.  But for me,  it’s always thinking of someone else; family and friends.   A special friendship that you know its always there just like family!   Lately there has been a lot of shootings and sadness everywhere including sicknesses that it has gotten to me; especially because I have so many people I love that I don’t see much because they far away and I feel like I can’t be there the way I want to or they don’t know how much they are loved. It’s the way things are but I am thankful that everyday I can share love in some way!

Day14

Today I’m thankful for joy happiness. And just knowing that I can help others because I can share my heart without thinking about what I am doing for others! =

Day

Day 13; I love waking and looking around my room at all the photos I have all over my room!  First because so many of my loved ones are so far away,  and it helps just to see people who have been there for me,  love is everywhere in my room I love it!

Days11 12

Thinking about what I’m thankful for today yesterday it was fun because I saw a friend who when we are together; its like we became kids and laugh no stop!  I love that kind of friendship where we can act like kids and not care.  Today I am thankful for music I love and need it on all the time.   It helps with my mood sometimes, its makes me think.   Most important I can dance in my room where nobody can see!

Day10

I know I already gave thanks for this friend but I would like to write a post just to her because I know she has helped make this year better for me!   Also I want to make her smile and feel special like she does for me daily!  Sometimes you just know that a friendship is meant to be!   From coming in my life when I really needed a friend and giving me my first babysitting job to somehow always supporting me even when we didn’t talk much,  I know that we will always be close!  She is one of the most important friends to me!  Today I’m so thankful that she is my special best friend I know I will have forever!

Day9

What are you thankful for this year?  Each day there is something to be thankful something that no everyone gets maybe it’s simple but for you it is huge!  For Day 9; I am so thankful that I can write;  to you it may not seem like something to be thankful for; but writing has gave me the opportunity to work but most importantly I have this blog where I can do something that I have dreaming about forever!  Its has been in my heart to help people.   Ever since I was a kid, making others feel happy and loved has been my mission!   So now I can write for others in read, it is the best!  I still have hopes to get a network for others to reach out me but with that I have a lot of leaning to get so I be a coach.  But for now I am very happy to be able to write and hopefully it is helpful to others.   Thanks for your support!

Day 8

Today I am trying to write on my new tablet, it’s exciting but I am still trying to learn how it works..  I got it to help me with my writing and also it’s helps me talk if I need! Technology has helped me so much to do more independently!! I am so thankful that I am able to do what I love doing, which is helping people!  I don’t feel as disabled when I have the opportunity to work and help others!

Day7; I am thankful for love. I have been in a little weird mood for me lately.   There are times when I’m down and it is because of anything,  I guess I  just wish I could do more like be out more. I know I do a lot but I want to be able to go out.   Am I depressed? No  I think I need to get into something like life coaching or just do something with my days that makes me happy! I am thankful for my best friends so thankful that they mean so much to me; more than I could say! My best friends, they are more like family I got to pick. I have a lot of best friends, but I have a very different and special friendships with each of them. To you, my best friends you mean everything to me, I love you!

day4

Day4.  I am thankful for happiness too the kind where you don’t care who is calling you names or people who see you and think you are something that you are not.   I know I am not a good person to say it’s easy to not let it affect you because it’s annoying when people don’t see you for you.  I think what can be helpful is if you know who you are and if you love yourself than those things people tell you may hurt a little but then you will remember who you are and that you are loved.   I’m happy as who I because I am loved!

thankfulness

So the month of thanksgiving has started and I missed my thankfulness by two days, what how!  Day one, would be I’m thankful for my family especially my mum, they always told me not to let my did disability stop me, because of that I am able to live independently from them like a normal young adult!  I love it that my cp does get in the way.  Day two; would have to be getting a pretty friendship back!  Not only we had time together but now we talk everyday which I love so much!  Day three would be reading.

Having being born with CP, I think having a disability is not a big deal I am still able to do everything I want to.   But there have been times when I am out with family or friends and I can’t get in places,  lucky I have amazing people who find a way to get me in!   Sometimes it’s not that easy!   The disability community have the ADA to a lot of public places they should be accessible and mostly they are.   There some places that aren’t, especially older buildings and some state buildings are not accessible nor many sidewalks;  they may have a ramp but then you find a light post really where some of who uses a wheelchair would be able to get on to the sidewalk I have seen it many times.  The ADA does help and it has given the disability community a lot; though as far as accessibility it would always more to work on.

 

Self-love is most important but sometimes it’s the hardest to do.   We all think we could be better, different but we don’t have to.   The way life is we think being different isn’t well taken by others.   But I think it’s awesome; who why would you want to be normal?  I know I don’t want to be normal.   But if someone who has a differences and because of it; they have been made fun of or out cased they would not think as I do.

“Seeking love keeps you from the awareness that you already have it — that you are it.”
— Byron Katie’’

It’s coming up on my favorite time of the year, Thanksgiving!   I like this time of year because we can give thanks each day,  we should do it every day but life is so busy that we don’t.   Every year I try to write each day what I am thankful for; it doesn’t always happen.   This year I did some though out the year;  I went to keep it going.   I am thankful for true friendships that they are not with you in a way that we can see them but you know you can talk to them each day anytime.   I always want to see friends thinking that is what is a friendship but you know what I realized that it’s so not the most important way.   But the important thing is that you know you can talk them no-matter what.