8 Myths About Your Emotions, and Why They Can Hurt You

As a society, we don’t talk much about emotions. Conversations tend to focus more on what we’re doing or what we’re thinking. In fact, most people find it easier to start sentences with, “I think…” instead of “I feel…” simply because it feels less awkward.

Most of us are never educated about feelings. Instead, we’re expected to learn socially acceptable ways to deal with feelings by watching the people around us. But the truth is, many people don’t role-model healthy ways to deal with feelings.

Social norms differ over what is considered “acceptable” in terms of managing and talking about feelings. There are many cultural differences about how to identify and manage emotions as well. In fact, most languages have words for certain emotions that don’t have equivalent translations. (Popular Science(link is external) recently shared 21 emotions for which there are no English equivalents).

It’s no wonder there is a lot of confusion about emotions. Here are 8 of the most common misconceptions:

1. “I should feel differently.”

So often people say things like, “I know I shouldn’t be so upset over something so little,” or, “I really should be happier than I am.” But there aren’t any rules that dictate that your emotional reaction is wrong. Rather than waste energy beating yourself up, accept that you feel a particular emotion right now and recognize that you have choices in how you react to it.

2. “I can’t control how I feel.

Even though your emotions aren’t wrong, that doesn’t mean you have to stay stuck in a particular mood. You can certainly choose to make changes that will influence the way you feel, by changing the way you think and behave .

3. “Venting will make me feel better.”

A widely-held misconception is that if you’re not talking to everyone about your feelings, you must be “suppressing your emotions” or “stuffing your feelings.” But research shows that the opposite is true—at least when it comes to anger. Punching a pillow or calling everyone you know to tell them how bad your day was will only increase your arousal and that won’t make you feel better.

4. “Trying to control my emotions is synonymous with behaving like a robot.

Sometimes people think that regulating their emotions means trying to act as if they don’t have feelings. That’s not the case. A realistic view of emotions shows that we’re capable of experiencing a wide range of emotions, but we don’t have to be controlled by them. After a hard day, choosing to do something to help you feel better—as opposed to staying in a bad mood—is a healthy skill.

5. “Other people have the power to make me feel certain emotions.

So often, people will say things like, “My boss makes me so mad,” or, “My mother-in-lawmakes me feel bad about myself.” In reality, no one can make you feel anything. Other people may influence how you feel, but you are the only one in charge of your emotions.

6. “I can’t handle uncomfortable emotions.”

When people doubt their ability to tolerate certain emotions, it leads to avoidance. Someone who experiences frequent bouts of anxiety may pass up opportunities to be promoted. A person who feels uncomfortable with confrontation may avoid meeting with a co-worker to problem-solve a situation. Learning to deal with uncomfortable emotions directly builds confidence. When you don’t allow your emotions to rule your behavior, you’ll learn you can handle a lot more than you imagined.

7. “Negative emotions are bad.

It’s easy to categorize emotions as being “good” or “bad,” but feelings in themselves aren’t positive or negative. It’s what we choose to do with those emotions that makes the difference. Anger, for example, often gets a bad rap. While some people make horrible choices when they’re mad, others choose to use anger in a proactive manner. Many of the world’s positive changes would never have occurred if activists hadn’t gotten angry about injustices they witnessed.

8. “Showing emotion is a sign of weakness.”

While it’s a healthy social skill to be able to behave professionally even when you’re not feeling at the top of your game, letting your guard down at socially appropriate times isn’t a sign of weakness. In fact, being aware of your emotions and making a conscious decision to share those emotions with others—when it’s socially appropriate to do so—can be a sign of strength.

Developing an awareness and understanding of your emotions can be difficult when you’re not used to thinking about how you feel. Like most skills in life, your ability to recognize, tolerate and regulate your emotions will improve with practice. Increased emotional self-awareness is key to building mental strength and achieving success in your personal and professional life.

From, http://www.psychiatry.wustl.edu/depression/depression_facts.htm

Depression Facts

 

Of the estimated 17.5 million Americans who are affected by some form of depression, 9.2 million have major or clinical depression

Two-thirds of people suffering from depression do not seek necessary treatment

80% of all people with clinical depression who have received treatment significantly improve their lives

The economic cost of depression is estimated at $30.4 billion a year but the cost in human suffering cannot be estimated

Women experience depression about twice as often as men

By the year 2020, the World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that depression will be the number two cause of “lost years of healthy life” worldwide

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) suicide was the ninth leading cause of death in the United States in 1996

Major Depression is 1.5-3.0 times more common among first-degree biological relatives of those with the disorder than among the general population

National Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day.

I have a disability called Cerebral palsy,  it can affect someone in so many different ways, its different for each person who has it.   It affects all my physical movements and my speech,  I use wheelchair to get around.  But it doesn’t stop me from having a full life!   I can do everything I put my mind on I just have to do it differently.  For me life is about making the best of what you have and never giving up on your dreams!

”Reaching for the Stars. A Cerebral Palsy Foundation.
Today is National Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day! It is the first national awareness day for Cerebral Palsy established through Congress via Reaching for the Stars 7 years ago to bring awareness to Cerebral Palsy – the most common motor disability in children impacting more than 800,000 Americans and more than 17,000,0000 people worldwide.
In the past 7 years, we have seen National Cerebral Palsy Day grow into a national effort embraced by parent advocates, clinicians, lawmakers, other organizations and people who have CP themselves (both kids and adults). There has been huge progress made to increase awareness of the need for CP research that can lead to Prevention, Treatment and eventually a Cure and Recovery. The increase in research interest in CP is expanding yearly in both the public and private sectors which means that together we are definitely changing the future of Cerebral Palsy – for those who already have it, and for future generations. We couldn’t be prouder to be volunteers who have worked hard for the past 10 years to make a difference. We will continue to work hard to make a difference for everyone impacted by CP. Special thanks again to Senator Johnny Isakson (GA) and Senator Robert Casey (PA) who co-sponsored National Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day 2015 again for us.
Let’s all stand together today wearing our green for CP Awareness and change the future! ‪#‎GG4CP‬ ‪#‎BeTheChange‬ We will never give up”

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5 Warning Signs Of Depression You Shouldn’t Ignore

Your boss chews you out. A car hits a puddle and splashes dirty water all over you. It’s a bad day, but it’s only one day. But depression, which affects one in 10 Americans, doesn’t go away with a flip of the calendar. Its symptoms usually persist for two weeks or more and typically do not subside without treatment. Unfortunately, most people do not realize that depression’s symptoms aren’t as simple as “feeling sad.” What’s more, every person experiences depression differently, and some may experience more symptoms than others. That means that far too often depression goes unrecognized, and those affected by it are forced to suffer in silence. Read on to learn how to recognize the most common symptoms of depression — whether in yourself, friends or family members — and how to get help.

1. Self-Criticism “We all have an inner critic. For people who are depressed, this critical inner voice can have a powerful and destructive influence on their state of mind. It may be feeding them a distorted commentary on their lives,” says Jaime W. Vinick, M.C., LPC, NCC, chief clinical officer at Sierra Tucson psychiatric facility. What’s more, self-criticism may also predict depression. In a 2009 Comprehensive Psychiatry study of 107 adults, those who were most self-critical were also more likely to be depressed four years later. Pay attention to how often you or anyone else uses the word “should,” says Moe Gelbart, Ph.D., a psychologist at Torrance Memorial Medical Center in California. Frequently referencing your behavior by saying you “should” have done something else is a common sign of self-judgment. Learn how to combat that self-criticism with positive self-talk.

Related: How to Boost Your Mental Well-Being

2. Loss of Interest Losing interest in three-hour meetings and work deadlines is one thing, but with depression, people can lose interest in things they typically enjoy, such as movies, sports and time spent with friends, says psychologist Moe Gelbart, Ph.D. “Loss of interest in pleasurable activities is a common component of depression and is referred to as anhedonia.” This loss of interest may be due to changes in the brain’s levels of reward-regulating hormones and neurotransmitters, according to psychiatrist Robert London, M.D. Unfortunately, a loss of interest can exacerbate feelings of isolation, leading to further depression, Gelbart says. It’s a self-destructive cycle that can be difficult for people suffering with depression to break.

3. Significant Weight Changes Depression can do a number on a scale. When depressed, many people lose interest in eating because they no longer enjoy food. On the other hand, they may emotionally eat in a conscious or unconscious attempt to improve their mood. In fact, according to a 2003 study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, eating foods rich in carbohydrates can temporarily promote the synthesis of the feel-good chemical serotonin in the brain. What’s more, depression-induced inactivity can also contribute to weight gain. If a person experiences a change in body weight of more than five percent in a month, medical attention is necessary, says Robert London, M.D.

4. Unexplained Aches and Pains Often, when depressed individuals do seek medical attention, their complaint isn’t depression at all. It’s aches and pains, such as stomach troubles and joint and back pain, says counselor Jaime W. Vinick. She explains that the neurotransmitters serotonin and norepinephrine influence not only mood, but also biological and neurological processes that can result in pain. What’s more, depression can affect how pain is perceived in the brain. “Pain signals from the body that are normally blunted or diverted can instead be amplified,” says psychologist Nick Forand, Ph.D. “People who are depressed also tend to have a lot of negative self-focused attention, so they might be more likely to notice pain sensations and concentrate on them, which can make the perception of pain worse,” he says.

Related: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Times

5. Anger and Irritability Often, when depressed, people report feeling agitated, restless or even violent, explains psychiatrist Robert London, M.D., who developed the short-term psychotherapy unit at the NYU Langone Medical Center. But anger is not only a symptom of depression, it’s also a possible contributor to depression. According to one Advances in Psychiatric Treatment editorial, when anger is left unaddressed it can lead to passive-aggressive behavior, which can be self-destructive and contribute to feelings of depression. London recommends that anyone experiencing aggression, hostility or just a “short fuse” discuss conflicts with others to work toward a possible resolution. Talking with a counselor or therapist can also prove helpful in sorting through feelings of anger or resentment and coming up with constructive ways of dealing with them.

The original article “8 Warning Signs of Depression You Shouldn’t Ignore” appeared on LIVESTRONG.COM.

By K. Aleisha Fettersp

This video is awesome in explaining what depression feels like.  I don’t know what is like to have depression; but I want to help those who do.   I know it is everywhere this sickness and it’s not something anyone person cure but it is a topic we need to talk about;  and support those who are going through this sickness.  http://www.ted.com/talks/kevin_breel_confessions_of_a_depressed_comic.

I want to help anyone who is depressed or can’t find their place in life!   Life is so amazing;  we should support each other through it!

A hero

Who is a hero in your life?  Who do you look up to?   Something like this can be hard to see,  who are really heroes in life.   We think of a hero as soldiers,  someone who saves people’s life.   But there is so much more that I think that makes someone a hero,  now I am not saying that soldiers and the people who give up their lives to make us save are not heroes they are.   Heroes can also be the people who keep going when everything seems to be going wrong.  they never give up on their dreams! You can just give in to lifes hard times, thinking that you can’t change it; or you can fight against all the things that are in your way!   Someone who lives and fights through the times when giving in would be easier, we know people who are un-named heroes who should be honored!

Happiness is always a by-product.  It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular.  But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.
~ Robertson Davies

Dancing your way through the hard times

Do you think that dancing could change your life?   We all go through things that no-matter how hard we try to understand it doesn’t make sense.   We tried everything to come to understand the way life can work sometimes;  all we want to say it’s not fair;  or why me.   Finding a way to get through it could be hard without dance.   I think on days like that;  dancing might help it may get the hard things off your mind.   I am going to try it!

I am Ms. Wheelchair Colorado 2010

I would like to tell you my story. At six months old I was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. The doctor informed my parents about a special “home” that could take care of me. I probably would never recognize anybody, talk or even hold my head… they were to concentrate on my two teenage brothers. But my family did not follow his advice. They worked with me, fussed over my simple achievements and encouraged me never to give up. My brothers showed me off with pride…
Yes, there are many things that I will never be able to do. My speech is not always clear, my arms tend to have a mind of their own and yes, Life can be hard but if you give it your best you will be surprised with what you may achieve. Everybody is different! Even people without disabilities can’t do everything. So, I look for what I am good at and make the best of it.
I guess it is easier to just use the disability as an excuse and not to try to achieve. But that is not how to LIVE LIFE, that is to just exist. I don’t expect to be treated differently. Actually I DON’T WANT to be treated differently. I had to fight for the right to be allowed to attend regular classes. Why? I do not think with my legs! But when I went on stage to get my “real” high school diploma all those months of struggle became history.
People with disabilities deserve to be allowed to achieve their best like anybody else, whatever that might be. But… like everybody else they must earn rights and respect! Do not give up. Look for the rainbow after every storm! Make the best of your LIFE!Scan0003

What is being thankful?

Its easy for us to only see the things we wish we could change.   The stuff that can get everyone down on life .  In those times it’s so hard to see that each day there is something to be grateful for;  may be it’s just something like having a good home, or maybe it’s knowing that you can change the way we look at life.  Our out look on the hard times can be what helps the most.  Being thankful for even the smallest thing can be so helpful.   Joking about the things you do also helps. There is so much to give thanks for everyday, but we don’t often see how lucky we are!

Why do we have to go through hard times? I know they make us stronger but sometimes I wish it would never come.  Life can be so hard that I wish that there are more I could do!   When I know that someone very special to me is going through a hard time,  my heart just hurts so much , I can’t take it a way!  I have to be there for my loved one somehow,  love is the key to helping anyone!    But when you feel that is not enough what do you do?   Just do it more!  !  Be there for your loved ones! Do anything you can to let them know that you are there!