This week coming up my dance team is going to Vegas to try out for America’s got talent! My dance group is made of all different kind of disabilities; the founder is my friend and caregiver also a great dancer!   She wanted to find a way that people with disabilities to get movement and became an every week class named Dancing with Friends!   We all love dancing;  it’s so much fun; now we’re going to do big.   America’s got talent, I’m so excited for a week of lot of dancing and fun.

I am so excited there is so much that I am excited about; I have been telling you that I am going to start offering to be a mentor; I can now say I am open for business!   You should know a few things about how this will work. First I am disabled so it will take me longer to write to you; I have to use another program for writing it’s helps my writing; second my time with you will be $10 , I am a doctor or anything like that.  But I know what’s its like to be different, left out because other’s don’t understand disabilities.   I have been there many times; it’s not fun having to explain why you are the way you are,  when everyone was some sort of difference.  I’m about love.   This has been my dream ever since I was a child.   I may not be expected but I have an open heart and love to make a difference or even just put some sun in your life.
If you are on facebook we can chat through there or you can email me at varugeslifelove6@gmail.com.
Thanks for your support!

Yesterday I wrote about how if you have a disability you are basically can’t get a job.   There’s a lot that could mess up your benefices that the government gives you.  If you’re disability is physical only you can understand that the idea of working is not that early to do not you cannot work but because the help you have to every day could be taken from you.   So we end up creating new ways to have a normal life, or not trying!   I don’t know about you guys, but it seems wrong.   People with disabilities should not feel like they can’t work or own a house because of the government.   I know many people who are the same problem I am;  how do we live on the money we get from the government it’s hardly eat for anyone to live on, especially if you have a home or just starting to live independently and having a few pay mouthy payments you cannot make it.  So coming up with others to make everything work is hard to where we have to make do.    All through its helps us, it’s all makes us not trying to better ourselves.   Not to want to be able to be independent, get a job or have a life.   The government wants to help the disabled people but I would like to see something that would let us want to get a normal life.

Are you disabled and wanting to work or be independent?  Do you need the services for the government?  You want to have a full time job to be able to have a home just as everyone else.   But you can’t; because if you have a job earning some extra money,  the government will take away the services  you need such as home care.  For someone like me who needs aids daily and other services I want to get a job but I can’t!  It can be announcing because I know I have to have help from the government but I also want to do more with my life than just hanging around.   I think that there should be a way to have some kind of job but still get what you need.  If you are in the same boat I am; what do you think?

I am so excited today I got my business signed up with the state of Colorado it’s a small step to my dream!   I am not ready for business just yet but I will be soon!  I want to tell you all; if you have felt different or like an outcast don’t let them tell you,  you cannot do something.   You are you for a reason; you’re beautiful/needed to make a difference in some way!

The best time of the year; thanksgiving and Christmas the time to be with loved ones and give! But not just things but also love and to give back. It’s the best time right? For most yes, but for me it’s just a little harder not because I don’t like Christmas.  My family is so far away I don’t get to spend time with them and feel too.  But as I start getting ready for the holidays its not that bad.  I am actually excited for the New Year and making new goals for myself!   As we all try to keep to the goals but somehow things get in the way or we think we can’t do it.  To better our lives we should work on goals and help each other with them.   My goal for the New Year is to get my business going.   I think I can do it; there is still a lot to learn.   But I want this bad enough that I know I won’t give up!

What is Love to you?   When do you feel loved the most?  Life is so busy with other things that do not make us as happy as Love can!  Sometimes it is easy to want students to make you happy but it doesn’t last like knowing that you are loved.   You, there is no one like you!   Nothing could be you; so don’t know that.   Someone who loves you, has the best gift of all YOU!   So forget what others tell you because they are wrong!

Love, dancing through life I like to see my life!  I don’t always but I would like to think I can be in a place in my life where I can say that I have everything together lol; I don’t.  I have to learn so much still about life coaching or mentoring others; I keep on putting it off to do more studding into the things that would help me get there but I doubt myself like we do sometimes.   This idea keeps on coming back to my heart so that I know it is my calling in life!   So I think I have to go for it and see what happens.

I want these next few mouths to be about giving back; I feel it more this year; I am not how or why but for me it’s better to give than to get.  I am going to go something!  Maybe it will be just on through writing on my blog. Going into the Christmas season and knowing how many people are hurting or getting by; I know I’m so lucky to have great support system that I can live on my own;  I am disabled and I need help with everyone just about;  but I can live on my own,  I have my sad days but I am happy. I want to give back !

The day before Thanksgiving and not doing a good job at writing daily about what I am thankful for after not feeling good a few days of not doing I want to say thanks for my health; I get headaches a lot I am not sure why sometimes.  I think sometimes I get so tight that it doesn’t help, there could be a lot of different that could be giving me headaches; waking up and feeling sick is the worst thing you have a lot of to do but you cannot do because it hurts and it could last days not fun.   Other than my down headaches days I am pretty healthy and happy. I know my blog has a long way to go; so I can make some money from something that I love doing which is writing and helping others; I am happy and thankful that I have so many followers on the blog and on the facebook page so thank you who-ever is following me.  It means a lot!  I just started writing to keep busy but now I have a feeling that one day I can have my online community to help others I am so thankful!

 

It’s the week of thanksgiving and I officially am bad at trying to write something I’m thankful for each day; its because I’m not thankful for I am.  But I don’t know why I can’t think of something different for each day.   For me it’s people that I am most thankful for,  the times I get with them is the best.   People,  love, is what really matters to me!

Day15

Today I’m thankful for love!  I know it has different meanings to everyone.  But for me,  it’s always thinking of someone else; family and friends.   A special friendship that you know its always there just like family!   Lately there has been a lot of shootings and sadness everywhere including sicknesses that it has gotten to me; especially because I have so many people I love that I don’t see much because they far away and I feel like I can’t be there the way I want to or they don’t know how much they are loved. It’s the way things are but I am thankful that everyday I can share love in some way!

Days11 12

Thinking about what I’m thankful for today yesterday it was fun because I saw a friend who when we are together; its like we became kids and laugh no stop!  I love that kind of friendship where we can act like kids and not care.  Today I am thankful for music I love and need it on all the time.   It helps with my mood sometimes, its makes me think.   Most important I can dance in my room where nobody can see!

Day10

I know I already gave thanks for this friend but I would like to write a post just to her because I know she has helped make this year better for me!   Also I want to make her smile and feel special like she does for me daily!  Sometimes you just know that a friendship is meant to be!   From coming in my life when I really needed a friend and giving me my first babysitting job to somehow always supporting me even when we didn’t talk much,  I know that we will always be close!  She is one of the most important friends to me!  Today I’m so thankful that she is my special best friend I know I will have forever!

Day9

What are you thankful for this year?  Each day there is something to be thankful something that no everyone gets maybe it’s simple but for you it is huge!  For Day 9; I am so thankful that I can write;  to you it may not seem like something to be thankful for; but writing has gave me the opportunity to work but most importantly I have this blog where I can do something that I have dreaming about forever!  Its has been in my heart to help people.   Ever since I was a kid, making others feel happy and loved has been my mission!   So now I can write for others in read, it is the best!  I still have hopes to get a network for others to reach out me but with that I have a lot of leaning to get so I be a coach.  But for now I am very happy to be able to write and hopefully it is helpful to others.   Thanks for your support!

Day 8

Today I am trying to write on my new tablet, it’s exciting but I am still trying to learn how it works..  I got it to help me with my writing and also it’s helps me talk if I need! Technology has helped me so much to do more independently!! I am so thankful that I am able to do what I love doing, which is helping people!  I don’t feel as disabled when I have the opportunity to work and help others!

Day7; I am thankful for love. I have been in a little weird mood for me lately.   There are times when I’m down and it is because of anything,  I guess I  just wish I could do more like be out more. I know I do a lot but I want to be able to go out.   Am I depressed? No  I think I need to get into something like life coaching or just do something with my days that makes me happy! I am thankful for my best friends so thankful that they mean so much to me; more than I could say! My best friends, they are more like family I got to pick. I have a lot of best friends, but I have a very different and special friendships with each of them. To you, my best friends you mean everything to me, I love you!

day4

Day4.  I am thankful for happiness too the kind where you don’t care who is calling you names or people who see you and think you are something that you are not.   I know I am not a good person to say it’s easy to not let it affect you because it’s annoying when people don’t see you for you.  I think what can be helpful is if you know who you are and if you love yourself than those things people tell you may hurt a little but then you will remember who you are and that you are loved.   I’m happy as who I because I am loved!

thankfulness

So the month of thanksgiving has started and I missed my thankfulness by two days, what how!  Day one, would be I’m thankful for my family especially my mum, they always told me not to let my did disability stop me, because of that I am able to live independently from them like a normal young adult!  I love it that my cp does get in the way.  Day two; would have to be getting a pretty friendship back!  Not only we had time together but now we talk everyday which I love so much!  Day three would be reading.

Having being born with CP, I think having a disability is not a big deal I am still able to do everything I want to.   But there have been times when I am out with family or friends and I can’t get in places,  lucky I have amazing people who find a way to get me in!   Sometimes it’s not that easy!   The disability community have the ADA to a lot of public places they should be accessible and mostly they are.   There some places that aren’t, especially older buildings and some state buildings are not accessible nor many sidewalks;  they may have a ramp but then you find a light post really where some of who uses a wheelchair would be able to get on to the sidewalk I have seen it many times.  The ADA does help and it has given the disability community a lot; though as far as accessibility it would always more to work on.

 

Self-love is most important but sometimes it’s the hardest to do.   We all think we could be better, different but we don’t have to.   The way life is we think being different isn’t well taken by others.   But I think it’s awesome; who why would you want to be normal?  I know I don’t want to be normal.   But if someone who has a differences and because of it; they have been made fun of or out cased they would not think as I do.

“Seeking love keeps you from the awareness that you already have it — that you are it.”
— Byron Katie’’

It’s coming up on my favorite time of the year, Thanksgiving!   I like this time of year because we can give thanks each day,  we should do it every day but life is so busy that we don’t.   Every year I try to write each day what I am thankful for; it doesn’t always happen.   This year I did some though out the year;  I went to keep it going.   I am thankful for true friendships that they are not with you in a way that we can see them but you know you can talk to them each day anytime.   I always want to see friends thinking that is what is a friendship but you know what I realized that it’s so not the most important way.   But the important thing is that you know you can talk them no-matter what.

I want to talk about depression, I think I can help this sickness but I can’t!   I or my reads may know what I’m talking about; it’s not like talking just being sad or hurting it’s much more than anyone who has never been depressed could know.   It’s hard trust me I have felt like that!   Yet this topic has been on my heart for forever.   I want to help people who have depression, disability, but mostly I want to design a community where every difference; will be seen!   I don’t have depression but I get sad, lonely and annoyed that I can’t do things on my own.  So in a way I do have these times when I feel happy because something in my life but I have love around me that is what helps.  Having people who don’t think about the things that you cannot do but look at what you do and just keep your spirits up  that is what is important and love.

I have cerebral palsy, so reading this letter someone wrote thanking their CP was pretty awesome! I would do the same thing; yes my cp can be hard and annoying most of the time but I know that I would be different if I didn’t have a disability.   Yes I have to work harder than most, I need help with everything.  I know I can’t get a normal job that annoyed me, its more because I could lose the help I need daily,  I have work harder at something simple as getting people to see me without my cp.  But am I happy with what I have who I am and all those quotations; yes I am!

https://themighty.com/2017/07/open-letter-to-my-cerebral-palsy/

It is disability/cancer awareness month, both of these issues I hold close to my heart.   First because I have a disability and being different is what makes me; me. I have known a few people who had been through cancer and are still with me.   I believe that all the sickness mental illness, even if you are lonely; everyone has some kind of difference disability.  We all need to have someone else in our world.   I know I talk about everyone having a disability a lot, but I think if others could understand that having a disability is not a big deal.   I love that we have an awareness month I am not saying I don’t I just think it should be more often!

Having a physical disability can be hard sometimes but you can explain to people how to help you or you know what works for you.  A disability that can be seen you are able to teach others and also bring awareness to it.  But a mental illness is not that easy to explain.  Here is a reason why I think it’s harder to tell others about mental if you have depression or some kind of mental illness;  I think people think it’s all in someone’s head that you have depression but as I read more about mental health is not just in their hands.   Sometimes it is something that they can’t control or even something from their past that has left hurt that they don’t think they feel they can let go of.  Or maybe that is just a disability.   This article about someone who is sacred to tell her story just because others don’t see that having a mental illness is a disability.  https://themighty.com/2017/05/scared-my-mental-illness-makes-me-hard-to-love/.
This is one reason I want to help people who feel like they can’t talk about mental health.

“Know thyself. Accept thyself. Love thyself. No matter what you have done, where you have been, know, accept, and love who you are.”
— Iyanla Vanzant. Do you accept,  love yourself,  do you know yourself?   Life can be hard even if you have everything going right.   Sometimes we don’t like who we are just because life wants us to think that if we have a difference it’s not ok but guess we all have some kind of difference so it should not be a big deal.   But there are people who are hurting because the public makes us feel that different is not good but it is.   Love who you are.

 

This is an article about happiness that I think sometimes being happy is not always always easy as we think.  Life gets busy with family , and work.  We can forget our happiness and just say we’re happy to have others worry about us.    When we should be first; but we get so worried about making others happy and jobs and things that we have to do  . Here are some things you can do to help yourself keep in a good place.

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2017/09/three-simple-ways-to-sustainable-happiness/?utm_source=Psych+Central+Weekly+Newsletter&utm_campaign=ded4e61208-GEN_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c648d0eafd-ded4e61208-30257077.

What makes you the most happy?   Or if what is the best gift you have gotten?   Don’t think about it as just something but maybe someone.   That changes the idea of a gift.   Does really.   No I think it’s better,  something can’t give you a lot like the people in your life can!   Its hard not to wait stuff but people are the most important gifts I think!

I will have my house guest in two weeks   I am super excited about the time with a best friend, especially since we have known each other forever but haven’t been in contact all this years till this year which I don’t know why I did not do better at keeping in concert with my friend.   First because I wish time didn’t get a way from us,  second because I am remembering how much we were in each other lifes. It was a great gift when I recognized how I missed this friendship, something somehow we both knew we needed each other like when we meet!  It just awesome how sometimes people stay with you even if they don’t see them.   You know time will never change that friendship.   That I think it is the greatest gift you can get!

Life is not always easy,  but lately I’ve been blessed.  Living independently from my mom or family.   I have caregivers that came daily to help through the day,  but it’s different than having your mom do your care for me.  I have to tell them what I need  rather than being with family members who knows what I need almost all the time.   I have to learn how to keep the house going and many other things;  I am getting there.   I am very happy that I experiencing what is like to live independently.

I like this quote because we all get this feeling sometimes where; when we have something we want do maybe in our lifes or even something else. You think that you can’t do it.  Just keep trying!

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

Lately there had been so much sadness in the world a lot of people who have some kind of disability,  a disability is when someone needs daily help;but I think even if you are so called normal you still will need help sometimes.  So what makes it different if you have a see able disability, when you have an invisible disability its not always seen as a disability.   As if it doesn’t count the hardships someone goes through because of their invisible disability!  It means you are different and I think that’s awesome!  But there are not a lot of people who think like I do.   It annoys me!   Yes sometimes I wish I was normal,  but that would not be as fun!  Why are there people hurting?  Because today people just want to be seen as the same but we are not each of us has a difference.

There is so much I could write about but where to start.   I have a lot of different emotions and it’s not easy to get out how I feel.   Happiness,  sadness and I wish I could just love others and support them in a different way that I am.   Even though I know that is the best thing they need;  is just love.   Like there is nothing to help someone heal but I wish there was! its hard when you want to there for someone more than what you are able to;  but when you think it may be you are the one who gives them love and not expect anything but them to be ok.

Here is why I love loving on others.   Daily life can be hard, when you are different;  having a disability that people see before they see you its hard; they see you as a child or that you have a mental disability,  but then when you have a disability that nobody sees.  I think that can be harder because you may need help but people don’t see it or may not believe you.   Then it can make it harder for people who are hiding behind a disability,  depression is a disability that we think it can’t a disability;  I think its harder to have a disability no one sees.  I know there people who hide their differences because people don’t understand that everyone has some kind of differences.   So why can’t we help each other?

“No one wants to suffer. No one wants to be lonely. No one wants to live in fear. No one wants to lose everything. No one wants their heart ripped to shreds. No one want to be sick. And, no one wants to die. But these things happen in life. So the least we can do is be there for others, as we would like others to be there for us.” — Bryant McGill

“Somebody needs what you have to give. It may not be your money; it may be your time. It may be your listening ear. It may be your arms to encourage. It may be your smile to uplift. Who knows? Maybe just like that little baby, putting your arm around somebody and letting him or her know that you care can help begin to heal that person’s heart. Maybe you can give a rescuing hug.”
— Joel Osteen. I love this so much.  We don’t recognize how much love is needed to heal.   You can say you are happy but love makes it all worth it

Kinds of Cerebral palsy.

https://themighty.com/2017/03/things-everyone-should-know-about-cerebral-palsy/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=CerebralPalsy_Page.

I think this article is awesome,  it gives decisions of all the difference kinds of CP because there are so many ways that CP, its not one type but even knowing what kind someone has it can every from person to person.   I have Ataxia is the least common form of cerebral palsy. Ataxia means ‘without order’ or ‘incoordination’.  It is not a common type which can be hard sometimes;  when I need to tell people about it,  or I just say I have the crazy kind!

‘Ataxia is the least common form of cerebral palsy. Ataxia means ‘without order’ or ‘incoordination’ Ataxic movements are characterised by clumsiness, imprecision, or instability. Movements are not smooth and may appear disorganised or jerky. The incoordination seen with ataxia occurs when a person attempts to perform voluntary movements such as walking or picking up objects. Ataxia causes an interruption of muscle control in the arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination.’

How much do you love you!   You know that comes before loving others before anything else.   We were always told that we should love others first,  that is half true.   You have to be good with who you are and then it’s simple to give others.   We need to be first important but is not always that easy.  We forget that it’s ok to put ourselves first.   Are you ok with everything that makes up you?   Its hard to be able to say anything we are,  we like.   For me I like most of the time;  my cp gets me at times when I want to do something but I need to do it or many other examples but look for the things I can and everything else works out.   All that to say start with you,  put yourself first once in a while.

 

“Today I will tell myself that I’m lovable. Just because some people haven’t been able to love me in ways that worked doesn’t mean that I’m unlovable. I’ve had lessons to learn, and some of them have hurt deeply, but I can still love, and I still am loved.” — Melody Beattie”

Why do people feel unloved ?  It is hard to understand why there people  who don’t have that, when it is the most important feeling to know you are loved!   Not only that but it’s even better. Why does differences matter when we all have things that we need help at times !  It should not matter how different people are but it seemed to matter;  then it hurts.

“Real love is opening your heart to the unlovable. Real gratitude is giving thanks when things aren’t perfect. Real generosity is sharing when you have very little. Real courage makes the ‘impossible’ — possible, with real faith.” — Bryant McGill

I think I understand how love is needed,  how much love can change lifes!  If you are in a low time in life and you know you have somebody who you can talk to at anytime,  knowing that helps just they would do anything for you.   Its hard to find people who will do that.   Love is not thinking about what others think it’s how you  feel.   Sometimes I wish there were more ways to explain how much I love, I want them to understand how much I love them,  but I don’t think I can!

I just got new AFO’s yesterday. They are going to make standing so much easier and walks, I am going to be doing a lot more work outs. I know I have to much uncontrollably movement to be able to get to where I could walk on my own. But it may help loosen up legs to make everything I do a little easier. I am excited

I haven’t done this in a while;  what I’m thankful for.   I just got home from an amazing week at camp.  I love this camp its like I don’t have a disability.  That camp is made for the disabled so everything I could do or they would find a way for me.  I did things I don’t think I can do like walk through a ropes course,  or rock climb!  It just feels awesome going to a place where you’re not looked at as different,  when in everyday life that is what you get more than I can say.   I move a lot I can’t talk readily or people don’t understand what me, but there is not a big deal!

 My thanksgiving this morning is to old friendships that you don’t see,  but you know they have you.I realized that life may take friends away and may be u have always talked, but when they came back and getting to talk everyday its just the best feeling ever. Realizing how much they mean to you and you know they feel the same way.  We all have crazy busy life with family and work,  moving away.   May be you loss touch for a while life gets crazy,  but when you really need a friend somehow they reach out to you!  Like it was meant to be.   There is a reason for everything in life you just have to believe it will work out!   You might think that friendship will be different or over but when you realize that it was there all the time it is the best feeling ever!