I want to talk about depression, I think I can help this sickness but I can’t!   I or my reads may know what I’m talking about; it’s not like talking just being sad or hurting it’s much more than anyone who has never been depressed could know.   It’s hard trust me I have felt like that!   Yet this topic has been on my heart for forever.   I want to help people who have depression, disability, but mostly I want to design a community where every difference; will be seen!   I don’t have depression but I get sad, lonely and annoyed that I can’t do things on my own.  So in a way I do have these times when I feel happy because something in my life but I have love around me that is what helps.  Having people who don’t think about the things that you cannot do but look at what you do and just keep your spirits up  that is what is important and love.

I have cerebral palsy, so reading this letter someone wrote thanking their CP was pretty awesome! I would do the same thing; yes my cp can be hard and annoying most of the time but I know that I would be different if I didn’t have a disability.   Yes I have to work harder than most, I need help with everything.  I know I can’t get a normal job that annoyed me, its more because I could lose the help I need daily,  I have work harder at something simple as getting people to see me without my cp.  But am I happy with what I have who I am and all those quotations; yes I am!

https://themighty.com/2017/07/open-letter-to-my-cerebral-palsy/

It is disability/cancer awareness month, both of these issues I hold close to my heart.   First because I have a disability and being different is what makes me; me. I have known a few people who had been through cancer and are still with me.   I believe that all the sickness mental illness, even if you are lonely; everyone has some kind of difference disability.  We all need to have someone else in our world.   I know I talk about everyone having a disability a lot, but I think if others could understand that having a disability is not a big deal.   I love that we have an awareness month I am not saying I don’t I just think it should be more often!

Having a physical disability can be hard sometimes but you can explain to people how to help you or you know what works for you.  A disability that can be seen you are able to teach others and also bring awareness to it.  But a mental illness is not that easy to explain.  Here is a reason why I think it’s harder to tell others about mental if you have depression or some kind of mental illness;  I think people think it’s all in someone’s head that you have depression but as I read more about mental health is not just in their hands.   Sometimes it is something that they can’t control or even something from their past that has left hurt that they don’t think they feel they can let go of.  Or maybe that is just a disability.   This article about someone who is sacred to tell her story just because others don’t see that having a mental illness is a disability.  https://themighty.com/2017/05/scared-my-mental-illness-makes-me-hard-to-love/.
This is one reason I want to help people who feel like they can’t talk about mental health.

“Know thyself. Accept thyself. Love thyself. No matter what you have done, where you have been, know, accept, and love who you are.”
— Iyanla Vanzant. Do you accept,  love yourself,  do you know yourself?   Life can be hard even if you have everything going right.   Sometimes we don’t like who we are just because life wants us to think that if we have a difference it’s not ok but guess we all have some kind of difference so it should not be a big deal.   But there are people who are hurting because the public makes us feel that different is not good but it is.   Love who you are.

 

I am so thankful for this last weekend;  I was with a special friend best friend.  Life has moved us to different states sometimes I wish we were living closer but the distance doesn’t make our friendship any different!  I loved every minute that we had together,  like a gift just us!

This is an article about happiness that I think sometimes being happy is not always always easy as we think.  Life gets busy with family , and work.  We can forget our happiness and just say we’re happy to have others worry about us.    When we should be first; but we get so worried about making others happy and jobs and things that we have to do  . Here are some things you can do to help yourself keep in a good place.

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2017/09/three-simple-ways-to-sustainable-happiness/?utm_source=Psych+Central+Weekly+Newsletter&utm_campaign=ded4e61208-GEN_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_c648d0eafd-ded4e61208-30257077.

What makes you the most happy?   Or if what is the best gift you have gotten?   Don’t think about it as just something but maybe someone.   That changes the idea of a gift.   Does really.   No I think it’s better,  something can’t give you a lot like the people in your life can!   Its hard not to wait stuff but people are the most important gifts I think!

I will have my house guest in two weeks   I am super excited about the time with a best friend, especially since we have known each other forever but haven’t been in contact all this years till this year which I don’t know why I did not do better at keeping in concert with my friend.   First because I wish time didn’t get a way from us,  second because I am remembering how much we were in each other lifes. It was a great gift when I recognized how I missed this friendship, something somehow we both knew we needed each other like when we meet!  It just awesome how sometimes people stay with you even if they don’t see them.   You know time will never change that friendship.   That I think it is the greatest gift you can get!

Life is not always easy,  but lately I’ve been blessed.  Living independently from my mom or family.   I have caregivers that came daily to help through the day,  but it’s different than having your mom do your care for me.  I have to tell them what I need  rather than being with family members who knows what I need almost all the time.   I have to learn how to keep the house going and many other things;  I am getting there.   I am very happy that I experiencing what is like to live independently.

I like this quote because we all get this feeling sometimes where; when we have something we want do maybe in our lifes or even something else. You think that you can’t do it.  Just keep trying!

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

Lately there had been so much sadness in the world a lot of people who have some kind of disability,  a disability is when someone needs daily help;but I think even if you are so called normal you still will need help sometimes.  So what makes it different if you have a see able disability, when you have an invisible disability its not always seen as a disability.   As if it doesn’t count the hardships someone goes through because of their invisible disability!  It means you are different and I think that’s awesome!  But there are not a lot of people who think like I do.   It annoys me!   Yes sometimes I wish I was normal,  but that would not be as fun!  Why are there people hurting?  Because today people just want to be seen as the same but we are not each of us has a difference.

There is so much I could write about but where to start.   I have a lot of different emotions and it’s not easy to get out how I feel.   Happiness,  sadness and I wish I could just love others and support them in a different way that I am.   Even though I know that is the best thing they need;  is just love.   Like there is nothing to help someone heal but I wish there was! its hard when you want to there for someone more than what you are able to;  but when you think it may be you are the one who gives them love and not expect anything but them to be ok.

Here is why I love loving on others.   Daily life can be hard, when you are different;  having a disability that people see before they see you its hard; they see you as a child or that you have a mental disability,  but then when you have a disability that nobody sees.  I think that can be harder because you may need help but people don’t see it or may not believe you.   Then it can make it harder for people who are hiding behind a disability,  depression is a disability that we think it can’t a disability;  I think its harder to have a disability no one sees.  I know there people who hide their differences because people don’t understand that everyone has some kind of differences.   So why can’t we help each other?

“No one wants to suffer. No one wants to be lonely. No one wants to live in fear. No one wants to lose everything. No one wants their heart ripped to shreds. No one want to be sick. And, no one wants to die. But these things happen in life. So the least we can do is be there for others, as we would like others to be there for us.” — Bryant McGill

“Somebody needs what you have to give. It may not be your money; it may be your time. It may be your listening ear. It may be your arms to encourage. It may be your smile to uplift. Who knows? Maybe just like that little baby, putting your arm around somebody and letting him or her know that you care can help begin to heal that person’s heart. Maybe you can give a rescuing hug.”
— Joel Osteen. I love this so much.  We don’t recognize how much love is needed to heal.   You can say you are happy but love makes it all worth it

Kinds of Cerebral palsy.

https://themighty.com/2017/03/things-everyone-should-know-about-cerebral-palsy/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=CerebralPalsy_Page.

I think this article is awesome,  it gives decisions of all the difference kinds of CP because there are so many ways that CP, its not one type but even knowing what kind someone has it can every from person to person.   I have Ataxia is the least common form of cerebral palsy. Ataxia means ‘without order’ or ‘incoordination’.  It is not a common type which can be hard sometimes;  when I need to tell people about it,  or I just say I have the crazy kind!

‘Ataxia is the least common form of cerebral palsy. Ataxia means ‘without order’ or ‘incoordination’ Ataxic movements are characterised by clumsiness, imprecision, or instability. Movements are not smooth and may appear disorganised or jerky. The incoordination seen with ataxia occurs when a person attempts to perform voluntary movements such as walking or picking up objects. Ataxia causes an interruption of muscle control in the arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination.’

How much do you love you!   You know that comes before loving others before anything else.   We were always told that we should love others first,  that is half true.   You have to be good with who you are and then it’s simple to give others.   We need to be first important but is not always that easy.  We forget that it’s ok to put ourselves first.   Are you ok with everything that makes up you?   Its hard to be able to say anything we are,  we like.   For me I like most of the time;  my cp gets me at times when I want to do something but I need to do it or many other examples but look for the things I can and everything else works out.   All that to say start with you,  put yourself first once in a while.

 

“Today I will tell myself that I’m lovable. Just because some people haven’t been able to love me in ways that worked doesn’t mean that I’m unlovable. I’ve had lessons to learn, and some of them have hurt deeply, but I can still love, and I still am loved.” — Melody Beattie”

Why do people feel unloved ?  It is hard to understand why there people  who don’t have that, when it is the most important feeling to know you are loved!   Not only that but it’s even better. Why does differences matter when we all have things that we need help at times !  It should not matter how different people are but it seemed to matter;  then it hurts.

“Real love is opening your heart to the unlovable. Real gratitude is giving thanks when things aren’t perfect. Real generosity is sharing when you have very little. Real courage makes the ‘impossible’ — possible, with real faith.” — Bryant McGill

I think I understand how love is needed,  how much love can change lifes!  If you are in a low time in life and you know you have somebody who you can talk to at anytime,  knowing that helps just they would do anything for you.   Its hard to find people who will do that.   Love is not thinking about what others think it’s how you  feel.   Sometimes I wish there were more ways to explain how much I love, I want them to understand how much I love them,  but I don’t think I can!

I just got new AFO’s yesterday. They are going to make standing so much easier and walks, I am going to be doing a lot more work outs. I know I have to much uncontrollably movement to be able to get to where I could walk on my own. But it may help loosen up legs to make everything I do a little easier. I am excited

I haven’t done this in a while;  what I’m thankful for.   I just got home from an amazing week at camp.  I love this camp its like I don’t have a disability.  That camp is made for the disabled so everything I could do or they would find a way for me.  I did things I don’t think I can do like walk through a ropes course,  or rock climb!  It just feels awesome going to a place where you’re not looked at as different,  when in everyday life that is what you get more than I can say.   I move a lot I can’t talk readily or people don’t understand what me, but there is not a big deal!

 My thanksgiving this morning is to old friendships that you don’t see,  but you know they have you.I realized that life may take friends away and may be u have always talked, but when they came back and getting to talk everyday its just the best feeling ever. Realizing how much they mean to you and you know they feel the same way.  We all have crazy busy life with family and work,  moving away.   May be you loss touch for a while life gets crazy,  but when you really need a friend somehow they reach out to you!  Like it was meant to be.   There is a reason for everything in life you just have to believe it will work out!   You might think that friendship will be different or over but when you realize that it was there all the time it is the best feeling ever!

Love is what makes us happy,  way fight for the things we love.
It is worth everything else!
Knowing that you are special,  needed cared for nothing could be better.
More than that love heals us just to know someone loves you.
We want to get to help us feel happier,  but we just need to loved!

“There will always be a reason why you meet people. Either you need them to change your life or you’re the one that will need to change theirs.” — Angel Harefa

I think there is always a reason why you meet the people who are in your life.   You may not know it but there is a reason always.

My cp hurts/hard day

My CP can be so tight and in doing excise or anything else can be so hard, but I keep going yesterday was an tighter day.   I had to go to project walk and nominally it helps.   But not yesterday,  I have so much that I’m excited for that it makes me tighter then normal.  CP is not the same every day well least mine isn’t,  that is what is the hard part of my cerebral palsy.  But it’s what I have to deal with to keep moving forward, all that to say there are many people who have it hard, and may not think they could be supported but you are; your journey may be hard but you are not alone!   Don’t hide you!

The truth is anything, time,  relationships can change.   Not love not if it’s true,  a true relationship if it true,  things can change within yourself or that person but if you see them for who they truly are then nothing else should matter!   Love never ends!

Your heart is not broken. Hearts don’t break. What you are feeling is growing pains. Your heart is expanding in wisdom, compassion, and strength, so one day, you can love even more.” — Bryant McGill

Look around do you see people hurting?
People waiting to be loved the way they are.
But they hide because nowadays

people think to be different is bad

it’s not,  it is what makes us all unique and special.

Being different is what life is about!

Have you ever had a day where;  you wish you could be there more for someone?   That is where my heart is lately, and its not easy to remember that letting them know you are there for them no-matter what and how much much they mean to you,  every time you can;  that may be the only thing you can give them even if it was different;  giving love can help than anything else.   Life does not always give love,  sometimes it is the feeling people don’t always have.

What gives you the most joy?   For me, it’s helping others and loving others a little more than I should but it makes me so happy to know I can help someone.   I think now days we don’t love like we should;  we don’t like who we are so,  we hide ourselves thinking that it is better.   Not letting anyone in,  but when we are lonely or hurting.   We should let people look at us the way we are!

“Stop comparing yourself with other people. You are an original.” -Joyce Meyer
Why do we like to compare ourselves to others all the time?  We are all different so what its awesome the person that you are there is only one amazing you! Why hide who you are when you are amazing.  You have some differences that you hide because you are afraid others might not like, that just means that they aren’t good enough have you because you are AMAZING!

Time changes almost everything except love!   Life without it is nothing.   I think it’s what helps us want to get up each day;  it helps during the dark times in life!   It is the sun when we need it most.   Knowing you are loved during the lowest times is really what helps everything came right, it might sound crazy but it really is that one thing that helps!

“What are you feeling blessed for today?” — Simple Reminder.    Easy Love.  Love always!   !

I am so thankful for friendships I know I write about friendships a lot but to me it’s the best gift you can get.   My birthday is coming up and I’ve been asked what I want and I don’t want anything.   People are my favorite gift.  I don’t want things just to say you gave me something,  love, family and friendships is what is important to me!

“The greatest gift you can ever give to others is unconditional love and acceptance.” — Brian Tracy.  I believe in this people are the best gift you get friendships that are always accepting of who you are.  It’s not always easy to feel accepted or making new friends;  when you are different or have a disability as the world sees difference!   That is  disability is,  a difference and everyone is different!

I just went to a friend’s funeral whom I never showed her how much I enjoyed her friendship because I thought she was healthy and would around for a long to come. It’s so sad and hard knowing that everything can change so fast. So be sure to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you always!

You are helping someone right now even if you don’t think so.   It might be thought your outlook, maybe textting someone just to let them know that they are loved may be your words are what keeps them going even if you think it’s not enough it is!   Always do what your heart tells you,  when it comes to supporting someone;  you can never go wrong if you know you can help do it.  There are so many people who are hurting or lonely and don’t  feel loved.  You can just send a simple text not knowing how it would help someone.   Giving to others in the best gift you can give,  and its needed more than anything else!    Just Give and Love!

These last few days I been wishing a friendship would come back.   I know somehow it’s still apart from me but there are days when I wish my heart felt a little different but I don’t,  I do;  I know I can always think about it and it makes me happy and I know we always have that.   All that to say people are my best gifts and this week I’m thankful for amazingly friendships.

“Being a little weird is just a natural side effect of being awesome.” — Sue Fitzmaurice  Be who you are because there is only one of you and is amazing!   !  !

Why can’t we just do what our hearts is telling us to do?   It’s a question I ask myself when I listen to what my heart is telling me that I could do;  but I don’t think I can!   Or I don’t want to do it because people might think weird.   When I don’t care how people see me,  I should just do it, and see where the journey go on leads me to;  but no it is not that easy….  I want to love others so much to where I make them uncomfortable or think I’m crazy; when I should not let  others tell how to love.  But I don’t really understand how often we say I love you but we don’t really mean it, I do maybe too much but I am good with it.   Because there is not enough of real love;  it is so needed!

Dear you!

I have been following some different life coaches on facebook.  I’m wanting to become a life coach;  I think it would be awesome not because I want the title behind my name but I think it would help in my goal of having my own business or on line community,  be for now I just lean from other life coaches the idea of going back to school lol; does not sound fun!  But anyway these a life coach who does a ”dear you”, I love it.   I think I’m going to start doing it, let’s see how it goes!
Dear you,   I can see your difficulties , difference I understand hiding them and be so called nominal would be easier,  to make friends,  to become independent,  but why be nominal and do the same thing as everyone else!   You are unique that is awesome you don’t need to be normal.   You are so loved,  needed.   Love yourself more than anything!

Looking at the difference people trying to hide when we should able to be who we are.  We are all different which I love!  I don’t care if you have a difference,  if you are in my life it’s ok. Why push people who have a difference away.

This week I am thankful for love!  Not only love I have;  but also I love making others feel important!  It is what keeps me happy, it’s what makes me me.   My daily life I need help with everything physical it’s the best feeling to give to my loved ones;  I might love too much but it is me!  “Real love is opening your heart to the unlovable. Real gratitude is giving thanks when things aren’t perfect. Real generosity is sharing when you have very little. Real courage makes the ‘impossible’ — possible, with real faith.” — Bryant McGill

Life is amazing  as I think about what I’ve decided to do bloging as inspire, support and love others through writing; when the funny thing is I can’t spell that well. But I love writing and doing it my childhood wish is actually coming true!  I love it!   I was in a place,  at the beginning of this year where the bad thoughts was not helping, in to thinking that I couldn’t do this.  But it was not me.  We all going through times where the bad thoughts takes over but at some point you get out of it and start moving forward.  Depression has been a topic I feel like I could support.   I didn’t go to school for it,  but it’s been in my heart to others.   Depression among other disability have always interested me. For depression is something people are afraid of, why.  It’s different disability but it is a disability! I know a disability means you need to help and you can’t help who you are because of that differences you can not help it!  All that to say I want to bring more awareness to all kinds of disabilities!

This weeks gratefulness is to something that to most it must not be something to give thanks for, but for me it is. It pictures and memories that remained with you always! Each day I get excited to look facebook and look at the memories for that day a year ago on a few years back! It’s a great way to remember people who may not talk to as much but the memories helps to know that time will be yours to think back to!

”No one wants to be discriminated against. No matter who you are, you have the same rights to life and equality as everyone else. This is the purpose behind the 2010 ADA Standards for Accessible Design. These standards as issued by the Department of Justice and the Department of Transportation ensure that Americans with disabilities have the same rights of access to public buildings as every other citizen of the United States.”(http://accessadvocates.com/why-the-2010-ada-standards-for-accessible-design-mean-equal-rights-for-you.)

Think about this;  as if someone discriminated against when there is nothing wrong with you,  you are able to do everything but someone doesn’t like something about you.   That what someone with a disability feels like what we get discriminated just because we are different.   We are all different the only difference between someone with a special need and the able-bodied is,  year not see their disability.

“Nothing is more important than empathy for another human being’s suffering. Nothing. Not a career, not wealth, not intelligence, certainly not status. We have to feel for one another if we’re going to survive with dignity.”
— Audrey Hepburn

This is so true, I love this.   Sometimes we don’t help people because first we may not know how to help or we feel afraid that they may not understand how much we care! Do it anyway!

This week I’m thankful for the things that made me smile;  like the scenes changing into summer, everything seems new.  The sun shining on everything making things look happy and healthy like life is starting new again,  in a way it is.   I love sitting outside thinking about everything I have.